05 December 2010

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 5: Let Go

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

In many ways, this has been a great year for me. In other ways, it's been a difficult year. I've learned a lot of lessons this year, and one of them has led me to let go of something that has been causing nothing but problems in my life.

I've always been the type of person who holds on to things long after they've happened, particularly when I've been hurt by whatever has happened. It's not that I hold grudges against other people, but when someone hurts me, I think about what I could have done differently, what led up to the event, etc. Some might say I obsess over it. Because of this mindset, I often make decisions in my life based on what I think other people's reactions will be, or what they'll think of the decision.

This year, I realized that living my life that way has been hurting me, and I was tired of it. I can't keep worrying so much about other people that I don't take care of myself and my family.

So I've been working on letting go of all the "shoulds" in my life. You know what I mean: I should do this to keep so-and-so happy. I should avoid this because of that person.

Instead, I'm trying to live my life based on what I know is best for me, for my son, and for my husband. I've been remembering that the advice people give doesn't have to be taken.

And I'm letting go of should.

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