Now that summer is over....

Now that we're into September, I'm shifting gears mentally into the fall. There's a lot we're looking forward to for this fall.

I'm launching a website.

I'm expanding my freelancing work to include specialized marketing services, so I'm building my website. I was hoping to have it up by the beginning of the month, but I ran into some complications, so now it'll be up at the end of the month instead. Either way, I'll have the website up and running soon, along with content to generate inbound leads.

I'm looking forward to it, and I think it'll be good for my career to get some private clients. I've kind of reached a plateau with the clients I currently have. So I'm ready to take the next step with my work and build a client base creating content marketing for a niche market. It's a demographic I'm passionate about, and I'm looking forward to immersing myself in that community in order to build clients and help businesses build their own customer bases.

We're taking a family vacation.

I graduated from college ten years ago, so this year's Homecoming at my alma mater will be a reunion Homecoming. I thought it would be a good opportunity to take Bo up to Illinois to meet the rest of my family, some of my friends, and to see the town I consider to be my hometown.

The original plan was that it would be a trip just for Bo and me, but now that the munchkins are homeschooled, they're coming with us, and we're turning it into a big field trip for school. Bo and I are making booklets for the kids to take with them that will include worksheets (math problems, geography, etc.) and activities (mazes, puzzles, journal prompts) to do each day. By the end of the trip they workbook will be complete. When we get back we'll print some pictures from the trip and the booklet will be part scrapbook and part workbook for school.

We're continuing to homeschool.

The kids have been out of public school since April, and we started officially homeschooling on June 1st (though we started unofficially before then). Now that it's autumn and public school is in full swing, we're continuing to push forward with homeschooling. Bo handles math and science, Monty handles social studies, and I handle Language Arts (reading, writing, spelling, grammar, etc.).

It's a dynamic that works well for us, and I love being able to teach what Puck needs to know by allowing him to write short stories. The kids are thriving academically, and we have the flexibility to do things like taking a family vacation in October since we can make workbooks to take with and continue their education even when they're in the car.

Autumn is going to be busy, but happy.

By way of an update

Things have been a little hectic in my life, both personally and professionally.

In addition to Tink's ongoing health concerns, I've had health concerns of my own. My chronic pain has gotten considerably worse, so I've got some upcoming appointments to try and get a diagnosis. My primary care physician referred me to a couple of specialists based on what he thinks it might be, and I'll be going through some diagnostic testing to see if he's right, or if it's something else altogether. It's been a frustrating process, and I don't know how much longer it's going to last. Not only do we have to narrow down what might be the culprit, but we have to simultaneously eliminate other things that it could be. And then, I can get a diagnosis and start a treatment plan and (hopefully) start to feel better.

Work has been busy, too. I'm getting into a busy season for what I do, and am taking steps to expand my work to include new and bigger clients. I haven't had much free time lately, and what little I've managed to scrounge has been spent with the munchkins and the Wifey. And, you know, sleep. I've heard that's important to get from time to time.

Fortunately, things are getting better.

Tink's appointments are slowing down and her health is hinting at getting better. I have appointments lined up so my health will get better. Work is more organized and I'm settling into a routine.

And I hope this means I'll have more time to blog. Because I have some things I think are worth blogging that I want to share. I have stories and experiences that make me feel alone, and I want to tell my story. I want to give voice to what has happened to me and how it has contributed to who I am today.

Here's to blogging.

Living a secular life

There is someone in my life* who recently asked if we'll be taking the munchkins to church on Easter.

No.

This person was surprised, and didn't understand why we wouldn't take the kids to church at least for Easter and Christmas. This person suggested that the kids need at least some religion** as a foundation for their lives.

No.

When the munchkins get older, if they start asking questions about religion and spirituality, I am happy to answer questions from the perspective of "this is what some people believe." But just as a Christian family would not likely take their children to a Mosque to teach them about Islam, I don't feel the need to take my kids to a church to teach them about Christianity.

We'll be spending Thanksgiving with the person who asked if we're taking the kids to church for Easter, and this person asked if Puck would be willing to say a blessing at the start of our Thanksgiving meal. So we're teaching the munchkins a short, non-religious blessing/rhyme that they can say, and I told the person that it will be a non-religious blessing, not a prayer.

I live a secular life, and so do the munchkins. I teach them how to be good people and make good choices without relying on fear tactics and threats of eternal damnation to get results. I teach them to be open-minded and non-judgmental toward all people and creatures rather than assuming that different is bad/"misguided"/"backslidden."

I am striving to raise Puck and Tink to be Good People, and I'm doing it without religion. Because religion doesn't have a corner on the morality market. You shouldn't need a Bible or threats of punishment to be a good person. We teach them it's important to be kind and compassionate out of respect for other people, not because they're afraid of what will happen if they don't. And that works for us.

There is nothing wrong with living a secular life and teaching the munchkins the same. When they're older and can make informed decisions for themselves about what they believe, they are welcome to find a church community or faith practice and follow it. But for now, we are a secular family.






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*Please note that this person is a wonderful person and someone in my life that I respect and love. I don't think this person knows I'm an atheist, just that I'm not really religious. There are no ill feelings about the conversation at all.

**Read: Christianity

With a son in public school....

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I read articles like this and feel a catch in my throat every time, imagining my own kindergarten son sitting cross-legged in a closet, trying to be brave on just this side of fearful.

Though we live in a big city, the school Puck attends (and Tink will attend next year) is new, in a small subdivision in a good neighborhood. I feel that my children will be safe at that school.

And still, there is part of me that can't help thinking about what protocols the school has in place for these situations, and what if Puck's class is doing P.E. outside or in the hall on the way back from the library.

It's a parent thing, I'm sure. We love our children and worry about them, so when faced with the gratuitous and hyperbolic coverage traditionally referred to as "news," the mind tends to imagine what would happen if....

I would be out the door and to the school, knowing full well that I would not be allowed on school ground until everything was resolved.

I would stand with other mothers and fathers and siblings watching windows and doorways and children running along the sidewalk for the merest glimpse of a familiar dinosaur shirt and light-up Spider-Man shoes.

And I would rage--as I do now--that we live in a country that claims to value education and sees the problems that exist but governmental checkbooks prove over and over again that there are more important things than providing safe, healthy environments that foster learning. That we say we want the best for our children but refuse to do right by them.

That we live in a society in which four-year-old children have drills in order to prepare them for a gunman wandering the school in the same way I once crouched in hallways in my own elementary school, my hands laced over the back of my neck, pretending I wasn't really afraid of tornadoes.

When I was a kid, the threats that existed were of strangers trying to kidnap us, so we were taught not to talk to strangers, don't accept candy from strangers, yell and run if someone tries to kidnap you. When I was a kid, my parents taught me a password. If they sent someone I didn't know to pick me up, that person would know the password. (I will have a password for my children, as well.)

But times have changed. We've moved from warnings of "stranger danger" to lockdown drills.

This is not a rant about the decline of our society in the way so many conservatives try to blame liberals or gays or atheists or whoever else for increased crime and poverty and whatever else. Instead, this is a rant about the fact that in the midst of this decline of our society, which is seen and felt by 99 percent of Americans, too many people are doing nothing to fix it.

Many aspects of our system are broken, education included. And while I know there are many people working hard to make changes in any way they can, there are just as many people who stand by and complain about the situation, wailing, "Why doesn't anyone do anything? Think of the children!," shaking their heads sadly from their sofas.

They aren't active in the school districts, even when their children are in school. They don't attend PTA meetings or school board meetings. They don't contribute when events or fundraisers are schedule to benefit the schools.

And they complain about the way the schools are run and the way budgets are handled. They blast teachers and principals for not doing the right things without trying to understand all that's involved in the decisions they make every day.

They complain about protocols and policies in place that make it "hard" to drop off and pick up their kids, or take them out of school, then rage when a child is kidnapped from the school.

We can't have it both ways. If you want to not be involved, fine. But then you have no grounds to complain about the way things are. If you want changes, fine. Then get up off your ass and be a part of finding the solutions for your kids.

Puck is in kindergarten this year. I have not been as involved as I would like because of my work schedule and where we live in relation to the school, but next year will be different.

I want my kids to get a good education. And I'm willing to do what it takes to help make it happen.

Playing school

Now that Puck is in school full days, Tink and I have been spending time during the day working on school-type tasks. Tink and I practice writing letters, identifying letters (and sounds), numbers, colors, shapes.... A lot of what we do is helping prepare her for school next year.

However, when Puck discovered that we were doing that, he decided he didn't want to be left out. So now, some afternoons when Puck gets home, we "play school." Tink and I still do similar tasks, and I have created kindergarten-level tasks for Puck to do (simple math problems, practicing his name, drawing pictures with labeling, etc.). The kids enjoy it very much, and I'm glad for the opportunity to supplement Puck's education.

I don't know how long it will be until Puck and Tink no longer want to "play school" at home with me, but until then, I'll do whatever I can to help them learn and grow in order to be successful academically.

Speaking of which, it's time to work on my "lesson plans" for this week.

We've given in to the dark side....

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After almost a year without a TV, I'm back to having a TV. And cable. Bo was offered a deal that couldn't be passed up, which offers channels she loves (History, Discovery, Nat Geo, among others). We're testing the service out for a couple of weeks, and if we like it,* we're going to keep it.

I'm looking forward to some aspects of having cable. Family movie nights will be easier, and I'll be able to watch some things that I've been missing (like Doctor Who). But despite going back to a traditional TV-in-the-living-room setup, the rules for TV-viewing for the munchkins are still in effect. During the school year, they only watch shows on days there is no school, and during extended breaks (winter break, spring break, summer), they can only watch shows on the weekends.

The munchkins don't seem to mind the rule. (Not that they have a choice in the matter....) They only occasionally ask to watch something, knowing that if they're allowed to watch a show, I'll offer. We also do "family movie night" on Fridays, so they get to watch quite a bit of TV on Friday nights. I think that satisfies them.

When they get older, we'll be able to relax the rule a bit, but I hope that, by then, they'll be much more interested in other things** and will have little interest in watching TV.

In the meantime, I'll be watching Unsolved Mysteries while I work this morning.






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*We're going to like it. I have BBC America. Hello, Doctor!

**LIKE BOOKS!!

While the kids are away....

Puck and Tink are with Monty for the next three weeks for their summer vacation with him.

Yes. Three whole weeks without the munchkins. I know it's going to be a difficult three weeks, but I'm trying to stay positive knowing that I can use this time to sort of recover from the busyness of the summer and get ready for fall, especially with the minor major change that's coming in the next couple of months.*

I had a wonderful few weeks with my munchkins. We had adventures and made memories. They stayed up late and ate too much junk food.

We went to the beach. The beach is so much more fun with kids who build pools in the sand and run from the waves.

We went bowling. Bowling is so much more fun with kids who forget they get two turns in a row.

It was wonderful.

But now it's Monty's turn, so I'm faced with how to spend the next three weeks without them. And what to do to make these three weeks wonderful with Clara and Bo.**

Of course, there will be the obligatory working and cleaning and getting ready for Puck's kindergarten adventures. But there will also be movies and uninterrupted (hot) dinners with adult conversation and R-rated movies.

And it will be wonderful, too, in a different way.






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*It's not really a big deal, but I can't talk about it yet. Sorry.

**Last reminder: Bo used to be called Yvaine on this blog. Now she's Bo. Everyone should have a Bo.

"I identify as...."

Puck went through a phase over the last year when he was very aware of the differences between male and female. He would often see someone and ask me "Is that person a girl or a boy?"

When he asks, I usually say, "That person identifies as..." and then answer (if I'm able). If the person is androgynous or I'm not sure follows binary genders, I give an answer like, "It doesn't matter because boys and girls can wear dresses."

It's important for me to teach Puck and Tink that gender is not always as simple as "That's a girl" or "That's a boy." Some people choose to identify as male or female, but do not appear stereotypically male or female. And I want the munchkins to know there's more to a person's gender than the way they appear or their physical anatomy. And that's okay.

I hope our society gets to a point where it's more socially acceptable to openly discuss personal gender publicly. I would like my kids to be comfortable asking someone, "What pronouns do you use?" and it be okay to both ask and get an answer.

Until then, we'll keep working where we are.

On vacation

After a glorious three weeks with Puck and Tink, they'll be headed to Monty for their three-week summer vacation with him. So we're ending our summer vacation with a trip to Mimi and Papa G's* house. It's just a long weekend, but we're all excited for the things we have planned, the surprises in store for Puck and Tink, and the time away from everything that wears on us day by day.

We've had a wonderful three weeks. We've gone to the beach, played outside, watched fireworks, eaten lots of delicious food, made crafts, watched movies, and enjoyed spending time together.

I think a mini-vacation is the perfect way to end these three weeks. After all the wonderful memories we made, we get to make more with Bo's family. And I can hold onto those memories while Puck and Tink are with Monty.

Of course, because of the time of year, I'll be taking my work files with me. I won't be working during our whole trip, but I will have to steal some time here and there to get some writing done.

And then when we come back, I'll have time to finish getting ready for the fall. Because this year is going by much more quickly than it should be.






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*Bo's parents

No TV for us, thanks

Way back in January I posted about not having a TV. I didn't bring it when I moved, and made the decision not to replace it. The kids watched shows on my tablet on the weekends, and that seemed to satisfy them.

Throughout the spring I became a bit more lax. Work became busier, so I would let the kids watch a show while I was finishing a project, or we would watch something together over dinner. It wasn't the end of the world.

Last week, however, my tablet decided it had had enough. It's not really working anymore, so when I picked the kids up from Monty, I had to tell them they couldn't watch anything. No tablet, no shows.

When the tablet first went out I considered replacing it with a TV, at least in my bedroom. I reasoned that we could do family movie nights in my room, and when the kids were gone, I could watch movies or shows.

But I don't think I will.

It's been five days with the munchkins and no shows (though they did watch Monsters, Inc. after dinner on Monday), and it's been much more peaceful around here. The munchkins play together (mostly) well, and are discovering new and exciting ways of keeping themselves entertained. When they do get loud, they aren't competing with the volume of a show, so it doesn't feel overwhelmingly loud. If I need or want noise (after the munchkins are in bed), I can watch something on my laptop, or listen to music or a podcast.

We may have to readjust our family movie nights (maybe we'll do family game nights instead), but I think keeping our home TV-free is a good decision for the foreseeable future. I don't miss having a TV, and aside from one almost-tantrum from Puck about not getting to watch something this afternoon, the kids don't seem to miss it either.

Things may change in the future. I may end up getting a TV and cable. But for now, I like our show and movie habits just the way they are: virtually nonexistent.

It's not all long lunches and trips to the park

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One of the reasons I love working from home* is the flexibility that comes with it. Not only do I get to plan my schedule around the kids' schedule, but I have the ability to work lots of extra hours when the munchkins are with Monty. I like that I can take breaks from work for walks in the afternoons or take a morning off to make robot costumes.**

But it's hard, too. Lately, work has been a bit intense (in a good way), and with Puck out of school for the summer, it seems that there's not enough time in the day to get through my task list each day. As it is, I take two days off a month (the first and fifteenth of each month, as long as I don't have any deadlines those days), and the rest of my time off is stolen here and there throughout the days.

One of the challenges I'm facing lately is balancing work with having Puck at home in the afternoons. When he was in pre-K, I had a couple of hours each afternoon to work. Tink was home, but she napped or played independently, giving me largely uninterrupted time to work. Now that Puck is home all day every day, things are a little different. Playing independently is punctuated with toys snatched from each other, pulled hair, and "I'm gonna tell Mama!" screamed from the play room. The blocks of time I have to work are much more fragmented when the munchkins are awake, so I've had to adjust my schedule.

Lately I find I'm much more productive in the morning and at night. I get some work done before the kids get up, while they're eating breakfast, and when they begin to play in the mornings. They're still waking up and excited about the day. Then, when they go to bed, I can work until my body tells me to stop and I go to bed.

I'm glad to be able to adjust my schedule like this, but it can be hard to maintain the balance, too. There are days when it seems my time is consumed by revisions and clients, and other days when it seems I've barely spent any time at my desk at all.

I tell myself it balances out, not only during the days when the munchkins are with me, but because I can play catch up when they're with Monty. And that self-proclaimed balance is what keeps me going.

I know in my heart that I can't imagine doing anything else. I love my job, and I adore the clients I work with, especially right now. It's been hard lately, making time for everything, but at the end of the day (even if that comes at one in the morning), I look forward to getting up and doing it all over again.

My life is not all long lunches and trips to the park, but some days are. And that makes it worth it.






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*I know some parents work outside the home and love it. Some parents work outside the home and feel guilty. Some parents work inside the home and hate it. This post is in no way making judgments of other parenting situations. When it comes to our kids, we do what we have to do. I am lucky enough to be in a situation I love and that works for my family. That's all. No judgment here.

**We did make robot costumes this week, actually. It was fun.

The Eighth Day

Early this week I watched a short film called The 53rd Hour. It's by a single dad who gets visitation with his kids every other weekend, and it focuses on that first hour after saying goodbye.

My situation is different from parents who only see their kids every other weekend or just in the summer. I'm lucky that Monty and I have shared custody, so we each get the kids about half the time in a week-on-week-off schedule.

But that doesn't change the fact that it's always hard to say goodbye to the munchkins, knowing I won't get to hug and kiss them for another week.

Monty usually picks them up in the evening, so the hardest time for me is the next day. The evening is okay because I use the time to pick up the house, run the kids' laundry from the week, get myself organized for the coming week. I don't always think about that time being without the kids because it's such a part of my normal Sunday evening routine, whether they're with me or not.

But that next morning can be killer. I only have to make breakfast for one. I don't have to convince Puck that he absolutely must comb his hair before school. I don't have pigtails to tighten six thousand times before lunch. On that eighth day there's a void in my schedule that would be taken up with food and putting on socks and the slow walk to the mailbox and back, stopping at every seam in the sidewalk to jump over it.

The day kind of floats by. Without a traditional job and no pre-K schedule to remind me of where I am in the day, it's supper time before I know it, and I'm scrounging among leftovers for something to eat at my desk while I work. There's no bubble bath and lotion on shivering chicken legs before bed. There's no trip (after trip after trip) to the bedroom to put Tink back in bed to give Puck another hug to tuck them both in one more time. There's no checking on snoring bodies with arms thrown wide once more before I go to bed myself.

There's just me.

I tell myself--and others--that the schedule is good, especially with my job. When the kids are with Monty I put in extra hours and do my cleaning and shopping so that when Puck and Tink are with me, I can devote extra time and attention to them. I don't have to work quite such long hours. We can go on adventures. But I still feel it deeply when I wake up on those Monday mornings to an empty house and go about my day.

There are lots of reasons it's hard to be a single parent. It's hard to be the only parent home taking care of munchkins. It's hard to be the sole financial support for a child. It's hard to balance self-care with child-care when you don't have another parent in the home that can take the kids for a walk so you can shower.

And if you share custody--even minimally--with another parent, it's really hard to get up the next morning and know that those munchkins aren't there to give hugs and kisses and demand a different breakfast from the one you've actually made for them.

The 53rd Hour is geared toward dads. It's geared toward parents who have to wait a couple of weeks to get their kids back. But every eighth day, I feel what they feel: two toddler-shaped holes in my life for another week.

The eighth day hurts. Every damn time.

The no-TV life

We still don't have a TV at the house, and though the munchkins do watch shows on my tablet, I've adopted CCB's rule that the kids only have screen time on non-school days.

I don't know what Monty's screen time rules are, but Puck and Tink have adjusted easily to the rules here. They rarely ask to watch anything during the week, and this past weekend, there were times I asked if they wanted to watch a movie or show, and they both said no. They have plenty of toys and activities, and are happy to play instead of sitting in front of the tablet watching TV.

I've had a few people tell me they don't know how I don't have a TV, or that I should get one for family movie nights, at least. But as little as we watch shows, I don't really see the point. I'm happy to use my tablet for the munchkins and when I put on Doctor Who episodes as background noise for working.

Besides, if the munchkins are content to be without TV, I'm certainly not going to risk changing it by bringing a TV into the house.

Do you have a TV? How does it impact your life?

Sometimes it's the little things

I had to go to the store today to pick up a few things. I'd planned to wait until the munchkins were with Monty to go, but since the clocks fell back an hour they got up this morning way earlier than I anticipated, and we needed something to do. So we all went to the store together.

Along with the few things I needed, I bought myself some new pens to hold me until I find somewhere that sells the pens I really want, a new journal (since my current one is almost used up and I journal more in cooler weather), and I let the munchkins each pick a new toy to bring home. They'd been really good for me throughout the week, and we all deserved a treat.

Puck, whose current obsession is all things superhero, chose a Leonardo action figure of Ninja Turtles fame. Or, as he says, "Too-Nit Ninja Turtles." It even comes with little weapons that snap inside his shell. Puck is in love.

Tink was harder to please. I tried to interest her in a baby doll, action figures, legos, books.... she finally decided on a plush Minnie Mouse. She loves her new Minnie, and even introduced her to Muppy, making the two of them hug. My kids are freaking adorable.

The munchkins are totally absorbed in their new toys. They haven't even acknowledged each other for the last twenty minutes (which is probably a good thing since they've been bickering most of the day).

Sometimes you just need a new toy to change your perspective and set the day in a new direction.

Life in Co-Parenting

I live in Florida. And when it comes to custody and visitation (which is strictly referred to as "timesharing" in the court system), Florida's model is to start at 50/50 and work from there based on circumstances. The parents come up with a parenting agreement that covers issues such as education, religion, expenses, and the timesharing schedule. It is meant to be as equal as possible, allowing both parents to take an active role in the children's lives.

Monty and I are operating on a 50/50 timesharing/parenting model. In our arrangement, the kids spend a week with one parent, then the next week with the other parent. Holidays are on a rotating schedule, and we each get two uninterrupted weeks in the summer. Because we both have the munchkins half the time, we split expenses 50/50, as well.

It sounds weird to someone who isn't familiar with Florida's method, but it's working well for us. I get the kids for a week (including the weekend since we exchange on Sunday evenings), so the kids know where they are every day that week. There's no back and forth throughout the week. In terms of a divorced family, the kids have stability in our arrangement.

It's working well for us.

What's most important to me is that whatever we do works for the kids, and is healthy for them. I know people have their own opinions about divorce and parenting separately and timesharing and what's appropriate for families after a divorce. But each family is different, and each circumstance surrounding the divorce is different. Each family needs to find what works for them and their children, regardless of what others say "should" be done.

I've known families in which the parents can't be in the same room and have to exchange children with a neutral party present. I've known families in which the husband remarried, and the ex-wife is friends with the second wife, and they all have holiday meals together. Two vastly different experiences, but each is what is possible in those families.

I don't know where in that spectrum Monty and I will be as we get settled into this new part of our lives. But as long as it works for the kids, and they're happy and healthy, I'll be fine with it.

It's book order day! Calloo! Callay!

When I was a kid, some of my favorite school days were the days the teacher sent home the order booklets for Scholastic books. We would usually get the booklets earlyish in the day, and when I had a moment, I'd go through the pages and mark the books I wanted my parents to order for me.

I never got all the books I wanted in any given order, but my parents did order books for me (and my siblings). And then, when they came in, I was ecstatic! New books to read!

Yesterday I picked some books to order for the munchkins from Puck's very first school book order. I think I was just as excited filling it out as I once was getting books of my very own. I chose carefully, picking things I think both kids will like, that will bring value to their home library.

As you can imagine, reading is important to me. And I'm hoping to foster the love I have for reading in the munchkins. I don't want to make them read. I hope that, when they're old enough, they'll choose to pick up books on their own and spend time exploring other worlds.

Since this is Puck's first book order, he doesn't actually know what's happening. He knows that the booklet contains pictures of books, and that Mama has ordered some books, which we'll get "soon." The booklet didn't hold the same excitement for him this week that it did for me.

A few orders into the year, and I think Puck will be much more excited when he sees the Scholastic logo on a handout at school. If not, I'm sure I'll be excited enough for the both of us.

Do your munchkins read? What are their favorite books?

We are a TV-free home.

There is no TV in my new home. It was something I'd been considering from the time I knew I was going to move. I thought the transition would be a good opportunity to leave it behind. I figured the munchkins would be excited about their new home and routine, and wouldn't miss not having it.

I was right.

Last week, I asked Puck if it was okay that I don't have a TV. He has a few shows he really loves, and will ask to watch them frequently. He said it didn't bother him. He pointed out that we do watch things on my tablet sometimes, and that there are other things to do.

He's right. There's always plenty to do without turning on the TV. Shows and movies can be entertaining, but with as much as Puck and Tink are learning and growing right now, I'd much rather engage their minds in other ways. They both love to build things with blocks, and they're kind of addicted to puzzles right now. I'd much rather spend an hour doing that with them than watching another episode of some mindless cartoon I've seen a hundred times.

I think, too, it's a way for me to continue de-cluttering my life. Moving has allowed me to pick and choose what's important enough to stay in my home and get rid of stuff I've just been carting around for no real reason. Well, not having a TV is a way for the munchkins and I to de-clutter our minds.

Our home is more peaceful without it. After a while, even favorite shows can become just noise. And I'll admit that there have been times I've turned something on just for the background noise. Eliminating that has helped me quiet my mind more.

I still have subscriptions to Netflix and Hulu+ for the time being. After all, I have to get my Doctor Who fix somehow.* But since my tablet is working well for watching the few shows I like, as well as the occasional shows for the munchkins, I'm happy to continue as we are.

Do you have a TV in your home? How often do you watch it? What do you watch?





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*Also, last week we watched Doctor Who for our evening show, and Puck got very upset during David Tennant's final episode. I explained that a new man was playing the Doctor, but it was still the same Doctor just with a different face. Then, Puck got very excited when he saw Matt Smith for the first time, and it was all good.

Toting Munchkins

Puck is four and Tink is two. However, because Tink is quite a bit smaller than the average two-year-old, her legs are very short. Sister loves to walk and run, but when we're out and about she gets tired easily and has trouble keeping up with Brother and me. So a lot of the time I carry her.

I don't mind--she's still light, especially compared to Puck-but she's also a little lazy. When I carry her, she expects me to do all the holding, and if I have anything in my hands, I struggle to keep her up on my hip as we walk or shop. And if I'm holding Puck's hand, too, forget it.

When the munchkins were little little (especially Puck), I used a wrap to carry them snuggled close to me. They were safe, and I had both hands free to do what I needed to do. I loved it.

When Tink first started walking, it was important for her to walk whenever possible. She was a late walker, so I stopped using the wrap, and when I needed to carry her, I just picked her up and put her on my hip. It worked well. But now, with her desire to just hang rather than, you know, hold on to me, I think I'm going to get out my wrap again.

The wrap I have is a Moby Wrap, and it's for use between eight and 35 pounds in a variety of holds. So I think I'm going to try it and see what Miss Thing thinks of the wrap for errand days or activities with lots of walking (amusement parks, for example).

If she likes it, we'll stick with it. If she doesn't, we'll have to come up with something else.

Do you carry your toddlers or allow them to walk most of the time? How does it work for you?

The kids' table

Puck has requested that at my "new house," I have a small table and chair set for he and Tink. He said he wants to use it to sit at and eat and "so I can do homework."

I was already planning on getting a new table and chairs set to put next to my work desk for the kids to be able to color or draw while I'm working in the mornings, but with Puck's request, I decided to let the munchkins help me pick a set. After all, they'll be the ones using it.

So after much consideration, a little arguing (Tink wanted a pink table), and a lot of searching, we decided on the table and chairs you see here.

When I first started planning the move to Florida, I wasn't sure I was going to get a kids' table. I planned to get a new dining set anyway (which I already have picked out--yay!), and since it's only the three of us, I thought that would be fine. But there's more to a kids' table than providing a place for the kids to eat that is a little more their size.

When I was younger, our family would visit my grandparents at Christmas time as often as we could. And when we did, everyone came over for a big Christmas (Eve) supper and opening gifts. Before my parents divorced, there were 19 of us at my grandparents' house, so in addition to the dining room table for the adults (and infants), there were two separate "kids' tables" in the living room and "new room" for the meal.

And I loved the meals at the kids' tables. We had the freedom to eat and talk without worrying quite as much about being quiet or proper. It gave us a little freedom, and made us feel more grown-up than we were.

Good memories of the kids' tables. And equally good memories of being able to "graduate" to the adults' table when I got married.

It sounds cheesy, but I want my kids to have the same kinds of memories with their cousins that I did. So when family comes down to visit (because who wouldn't want to come visit us in Florida?), I want to have a table for the cousins to sit together while the adults sit elsewhere and have boring conversations about the price of gas, the weather, the economy, or whatever else adults talk about during holiday dinners.

Our nightly family dinners may still be at the big table. It's important to me that we eat around the table together as often as possible, especially since I know the kids' schedules will become more chaotic as they grow. But it will also be good to have a kid-sized table and chairs for them to use however they want, even if the cousins aren't visiting.

Let's pretend it's a vacation.

On our way to play putt-putt

So....  I have a place to live, but I can't move in until the 16th. It's a great little place, perfect for what I want right now, and I'm content to wait for it. It's just meant that I've had to make this week a bit of an adventure with the kids since we're staying in a hotel.

They've loved it--they've gotten to watch their shows on the bed while coloring, every meal has been a picnic, and Puck has been ecstatic about getting donuts with breakfast in the mornings.

Yes, they've become a bit spoiled this week. But it's my first week in Florida and we're in a hotel. When I get them back after they're at Monty's next week, things will be different and quite a bit back to normal. I'll even have a place to hang our big family calendar so we can keep better track of our schedules!

It'll be so good to get back into our regular routine once we're settled in the new place. I don't like this whole no-real-routine thing I've got going on. Sure, I can pretend we're on a little vacation, but it's still weird. I want a real kitchen to make real food in, my own washer and dryer, and more windows.

But, for now, we're pretending it's a vacation.