Keeping myself grounded

It is important for me to keep myself centered and grounded. I know that's a term that gets used a lot to use a lot of different things, so let me give you my explanation.

To me, grounding means making an active choice to let go of stresses and worries--especially those that are out of my control--and focus on being in the moment in order to do the things I need to do so I can move forward.

Along those same lines, centering myself means to give myself something to come back to when I feel like the stresses and worries are getting to be too much. It keeps me from feeling like I'm (emotionally and mentally) floating too much.

In the past, it was my Christian beliefs that kept me emotionally balanced and feeling in control.

There are a few ways I keep myself from feeling off balance.

Though I don't practice yoga nearly as often as I would like to, I always feel better when I do. (Which should tell me I need to do it more often, I know.) It gets my body moving, which is good, and since I focus entirely on the poses and my breathing in each moment, I can let go of the other things in my life for just a little while. Even if all I do is a single sun salutation, I feel better. I'm working on doing yoga more often for my physical health as well as my mental/emotional health.

Journaling is also very helpful. I'm currently going through The Artist's Way, and the morning pages have become very valuable. It gives me the opportunity to journal about all the shit clogging my brain before I start my day, getting it out of the way so I can focus on the writing I have to do for work (and pleasure). Of course, it's also valuable to me as a writer because I've gotten lots of ideas out of journaling. And writing is writing, even if no one else sees it.

Taking care of my plants is also a big draw for me. One of the reasons I want more plans is because I have the tendency to fuss over the ones I have. Probably a bit too much. I make sure they have enough water, move them around to make sure they're getting the right amount of sun/shade, get dead leaves out of the pot to make room for new growth, and, of course, talk to them. It's a bit of a distraction, and lets me take a break from the things I need to do.

What do you do to keep yourself grounded and centered?

Finding balance -- spirit

I have a copy of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. I've started it a couple of times, but never finished it.

I've started it again.

I think that where I am in my life puts me in a better position to complete the book and all that goes along with it this time around.

From a spiritual perspective, I am an atheist. However, I do value a connection with the world around me through mindful, compassionate living, and I believe that that connection can be a vehicle through which I can increase my creativity, improve my career, and continue to live my happily ever after.

In finding a mind-body-spirit balance in my life, I had sort of struggled with how to apply the spiritual aspect. How can I have balance in my spiritual life if I do not practice some sort of religion?

However, I have found that there are aspects of my life that feed my spirit (my heart and passions) that I can use to create spiritual balance in my life. One of these is my connection to the world around me--through the natural world and people around me--and another is in my writing.

Cameron's book seeks to combine an individual's creativity with the spiritual elements of life. While she uses the term "God" to refer to the creative energy in an individual or connection to the universe. Though she does indicate that anyone who goes through this journey should use whatever term or concept that best resonates with that individual.

I'm optimistic that going through this book over the next few months will help me remember the importance of creativity in my life, and find the motivation I once had for writing fiction.*

And if I can find better spiritual balance as a result, then I'll count it a success.






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*It is true that I use creativity in my daily career. However, I have not spent nearly as much time writing fiction as I would like to, and progress on the coffee house book has suffered. I keep making excuses, and I'm frustrated with that.

Finding balance -- body

Freedigitalphotos.net / mapichai

On Monday last week I wrote about finding balance in my mind as part of my efforts in living a more holistic lifestyle. This week, I want to talk about finding balance in my body.

I want to be at my healthiest. Not only for the munchkins and for Bo, but for myself.

One thing that has happened recently is that I've gotten out of some of my good habits, and my diet and exercise has slipped.

So I'm making a renewed effort at making healthier food and exercise choices, in order to move toward my health goals (and look good in my dress later this year).

I have found that, for me, a plant-based diet works well for meeting my health goals. So I'm working hard at being careful about what I put in my body and eating plant-based whole foods.

I'm also trying to exercise more. Some days all I can do is walk (which is good), and other days, I'll do yoga or some other exercise routine. The goal is to keep my body moving as much as possible.

I've read a lot of the articles that show the benefits of exercise not only to the body, but to the mind. So it makes sense that in finding a balance in my life, exercise and healthy eating would be a major part of it. If I want to be healthy in every facet of my life, my body must be included in that.

What do you do to keep your body healthy?

Finding balance -- mind

Freedigitalphotos.net / tiverylucky

One aspect of holistic living is creating a balance of mind, body, and spirit in life. To that end, I want to talk about the creating balance within my mind moving toward a holistic lifestyle.

My mind is usually where I struggle the most in creating a holistic balance in my life. As an introvert, I internalize a lot of things, and I can get into a "loop" of thinking that is not always beneficial.

So one of the goals I have for this year is to work on quieting my mind and being in the moment. I think this will go a long way to helping me let go of a lot of the mental and emotional struggles in my life, particularly related to my family, and bring me a great deal more peace on a daily basis.

I want to be someone who meditates regularly. I've tried a few times (not seriously), but it never really went anywhere. And yet, I know that when I set aside time for the purpose of quieting my mind, I am happier.

Yoga is meditative to me. I'm able to focus on my breathing and ignore everything in my life. So I'm going to try and do yoga more (which will benefit my physical health, as well).

However, I would also like to sit and meditate. I may start with guided meditation to help get my mind into the habit of quieting itself on a regular basis. Once I'm more comfortable with it, I can move into more free-form meditation.

I think, through meditation, I will be able to let go of some things that I've been struggling with, as well. Not only will this help me to stay in the moment, but will make for a more peaceful, happier life.

How do you keep balance within your mind?

Taking a little time off....

As an independent contractor, I don't get paid vacation days. If I don't work, I don't get paid. So as the holidays approach, it's important for me to balance work time with family time, especially around holidays and birthdays.

It's been difficult this month to take time off. I've had a lot of deadlines this month, so it's meant late nights and long hours. Fortunately, the big deadlines are coming to an end (at least until after the new year), so I'm looking forward to having some time off next week for the holiday.

This year is a little bit different because Puck and Tink are spending actual factual Christmas with Monty. But Bo and I will still be celebrating the holiday in our own way, and since she has two whole days off of work for the holiday, I'm planning to take the 25th and 26th off, as well.

It's going to be nice to have some time off, especially since it's been such a busy, chaotic month (or two) lately. I'll sleep in, drink my coffee out on the patio, and watch too much TV all weekend.

It will be a much-needed break before I jump back into work.

It's not all long lunches and trips to the park

Photo source

One of the reasons I love working from home* is the flexibility that comes with it. Not only do I get to plan my schedule around the kids' schedule, but I have the ability to work lots of extra hours when the munchkins are with Monty. I like that I can take breaks from work for walks in the afternoons or take a morning off to make robot costumes.**

But it's hard, too. Lately, work has been a bit intense (in a good way), and with Puck out of school for the summer, it seems that there's not enough time in the day to get through my task list each day. As it is, I take two days off a month (the first and fifteenth of each month, as long as I don't have any deadlines those days), and the rest of my time off is stolen here and there throughout the days.

One of the challenges I'm facing lately is balancing work with having Puck at home in the afternoons. When he was in pre-K, I had a couple of hours each afternoon to work. Tink was home, but she napped or played independently, giving me largely uninterrupted time to work. Now that Puck is home all day every day, things are a little different. Playing independently is punctuated with toys snatched from each other, pulled hair, and "I'm gonna tell Mama!" screamed from the play room. The blocks of time I have to work are much more fragmented when the munchkins are awake, so I've had to adjust my schedule.

Lately I find I'm much more productive in the morning and at night. I get some work done before the kids get up, while they're eating breakfast, and when they begin to play in the mornings. They're still waking up and excited about the day. Then, when they go to bed, I can work until my body tells me to stop and I go to bed.

I'm glad to be able to adjust my schedule like this, but it can be hard to maintain the balance, too. There are days when it seems my time is consumed by revisions and clients, and other days when it seems I've barely spent any time at my desk at all.

I tell myself it balances out, not only during the days when the munchkins are with me, but because I can play catch up when they're with Monty. And that self-proclaimed balance is what keeps me going.

I know in my heart that I can't imagine doing anything else. I love my job, and I adore the clients I work with, especially right now. It's been hard lately, making time for everything, but at the end of the day (even if that comes at one in the morning), I look forward to getting up and doing it all over again.

My life is not all long lunches and trips to the park, but some days are. And that makes it worth it.






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*I know some parents work outside the home and love it. Some parents work outside the home and feel guilty. Some parents work inside the home and hate it. This post is in no way making judgments of other parenting situations. When it comes to our kids, we do what we have to do. I am lucky enough to be in a situation I love and that works for my family. That's all. No judgment here.

**We did make robot costumes this week, actually. It was fun.

Sometimes there's always more work to be done.

Not my calendar, but eerily similar.

I've been working (on and off--mostly on) as a freelance writer since 2008. Since July 2013, I've gone back to freelancing full-time, which I really and truly love.

But freelancing can be hard. My career is only limited by the amount of time I put into the work. The more I work, the more income I bring in. The more clients I can get, the stronger my portfolio.

But being self-employed, it's not just about writing and invoicing. Essentially, I treat my freelancing as a business in which I do everything for the business myself. Anything that needs to be done for my career, from invoicing and taxes to blog posts and networking, is all done by me.

My work is never done. Even when I've finished for the day, there are a list of things on my list to do tomorrow, or that have to be done by the end of the week, or are in the works for later on this month. There's always something I can be doing for work. That's good because there's always something I can do when it's time to work. But it's bad because when it's time to close the office for the day, there are still things I could be doing.

It's sometimes hard to walk away from the office.

I'll be working from out of town next week, and I'm taking the opportunity to relax a little, as well. Some of it will be forced (travel days). I think it will be good to step away from the office just a little and catch my breath before jumping back in when I get home.

And I will jump back in because sometimes there's always more work to be done.

Time management

There have been times that, as a writer, I've been frustrated that I "don't have time" to work on the collection. Which isn't entirely true.

What is true is that everyone has 24 hours every day to do with whatever they choose. So I've been focusing on utilizing my time better to maximize the time I have for non-work related writing.

A schedule is important for my family anyway. As a single mom who works outside the house, a structured schedule is necessary for things to run smoothly. And as the kids get older and begin to get more involved in activities, a schedule will be even more important.

However, the good thing about the crazy-structure schedule I have is that it ensures I make and keep time for writing.

Remember NaNoWriMo? The crazy adventure that teaches you that you can, in fact, make time to write? It's all well and good to make time to write a book in November, but the true purpose it to carry the motivation and time management with you through the rest of the year. That's what I'm trying to do with my structured schedule.

By setting aside specific time for fiction-writing, I'm making writing a priority in my life. I'm still making time to do all the things I need to do each day (feed the munchkins, work, exercise, shower....), and still have a good amount of time to work on the coffee house book.

Yes, I'm making sacrifices right now because of my obligations. I sleep less than I probably should, and my days are quite full, but it's worth it to know that I'm making progress on the collection.

How to you ensure you have time for writing in your schedule?

What it means to be a WAHM

My bosses

I am a full time freelance writer. I am also a work-at-home mom (WAHM).

In many ways, my life as a writer and my life as a mom blend together seamlessly. In other ways, I find myself wondering if my children are sacrificing for my career, or if my career is sacrificing for my children.

I think sometimes people think WAHMs have it "easy." After all, they get to work from home, they get to play with their kid(s) all day, and they get to do it all in their pajamas with Days of Our Lives playing during nap time. Right?

Well, not so much.

In order for me to be successful as a WAHM (which means success as a writer and as a mom), I've had to approach my day very differently than a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) or a WOHM (work-outside-the-home mom) does. The biggest difference is in my daily schedule.

I have a very detailed daily schedule. In fact, according to my schedule I have very little down time. In practice, there's more down time than it appears, but I've padded the tasks I have to do each day to allow for distractions or side-tracking caused by "my bosses" (see photo above). If I don't have a very structured schedule, it's too easy for me to not get things done because I figure I can do them later. As it is, I can look at my schedule and simply do what it says to do during a certain time slot and know that, by the end of the day, I'll have gotten through the things I needed to do.

I also get up earlier than the rest of my family. My husband gets up around 7:15 every morning to get ready for work during the week. Bean is up between 9:30 and 10:00 every morning. (Bunny kind of does her own thing.) I get up at 5:00 a.m. every morning (including weekends) and get ready for the day, then spend time working until everyone else gets up. Having that extra time is what I need to get my day going on my terms so I can have a good day once the kids are up.

Though this is one thing I'm still working on, being highly organized is also key to being a successful WAHM. Not only do I have to stay organized to stay on top of deadlines and in contact with clients, but I have to stay organized to stay on top of my home responsibilities. I have lists and a calendar and I write everything down so I don't forget anything.

The biggest thing, which I know I've mentioned many times, is balance. When you work from home, you can't work all the time, and you can't let yourself get distracted so that you don't get anything done.

It's not easy, but I have to tell you that making it work is definitely worth it to get to spend so much time with my kids, and to get paid to do what I love so much.

My Daily Schedule

When you work from home, no matter the industry or field, finding a balance between your work and home life is imperative. It can be easy to let your work self get distracted by things at home (TV, Internet, laundry, etc.) or let your home self get distracted by work (emails, phone calls, articles, etc.). Many people find they either procrastinate terribly, or they never close their office. Neither is healthy.

Finding balance is something I've been working on for a long time, and I'm finally feeling comfortable in where I am. The key for me has been building a schedule that includes home and work tasks throughout the day. This enables me to get everything done I need to for work, but gives me the breaks I need to get home tasks done, as well. Since that's the way I have my schedule set up, I can be comfortable walking away from work when it's time to clean, and I can be comfortable walking away from house work when it's time to work.

You can see my detailed daily schedule here.

How do you balance your home and work life? Do you find yourself drawn more to one or the other?

My Writing Time

Christi Corbett has a guest post up at Pimp My Novel about writing time/space.  I admit, I also had her romanticized vision of a writer's space/time before I became a full time writer.  Now things are very different.

I will admit that I usually get anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and a half of uninterrupted writing time in the afternoons (during the week, at least) while Bean naps, but in the evenings and on weekends when Hubby is there to help so I have extra writing time, I actually get less done.

I'm going to do what Christi did and keep track of my writing time interruptions to share with you next week.

Do you get uninterrupted writing time?  If so, how much?

Balancing work and family

Most freelance writers work from home.  Sometimes they have a home office, a room or space set aside specifically for work purposes, while other times they use whatever space they can find at home in which to write.  Regardless of the space used, one challenge in working from home is balancing work and family.

It's true that nearly everyone has to find a balance between work and family, but it can be more difficult for those who write from home.  When you work in the same place that you spend time with family, the line between professional and personal can become blurred.

Lots of people have tips about how to keep your work life separate from your personal life if you work at home.  Here are a few that seem to come up often.

Have set work hours.  If you worked outside the home, you would have set hours that would make you generally unavailable.  By setting specific work hours at home, you help reinforce to your family that you are working, so they'll give you time and space to work.  Conversely, setting work hours will give you a stopping time.  That way, you spend time with your family, too.

Have a set work space.  If you sometimes work in an office, other times in the kitchen, and still other times in the living room, family may be confused as to when you're working and when you're not.  By having a space you always use as your work space, even if it's the kitchen table, your family will know that when you're set up there, you're working.

Have flexibility.  Your dream may be to work, for example, from eight in the morning until one in the afternoon, and then again from three in the afternoon until six in the evening.  In reality, though, you may find that you get most of your work done in thirty-minute bursts throughout the day (and night).  As long as you're willing to adapt to your family's needs and still keep up with your work, you'll find a system that works for you.

Happy scribbling!

Making Time to Write

Kell of The Fang Marked Writer put up a post today about needing to readjust her writing schedule to fit around her day gig.

I have the incredible luxury of being able to work full-time from home right now, although I have worked full-time outside of the home, so I understand needing to make time to scribble. When I was working, I wrote during my lunch break and after work (usually before bed). Whenever I had a free moment, I was scribbling.

The key is to find your rhythm. If you prefer to start your day scribbling, get up a few hours before the rest of your family does and get some writing done. If you're a night owl, stay up after everyone else has gone to sleep. Maybe you have a nice break in the middle of your day. Make sure you have a pad of paper and a pen in your bag, and you'll be set.

Of course, you don't have to limit yourself to blocks of time, either. As I mentioned, I wrote during lunch. But when I was an admissions counselor and traveling to schools to recruit students, I also scribbled while I was waiting for students to arrive, or while I was eating dinner at restaurants (alone) while on the road. Keeping a little journal in my briefcase was a very, very smart idea for me!

The problem comes when people who have busy schedules use it as an excuse to not write. They claim they can't write because they have work to do, or because they have a family to care for, or because dinner needs to be cooked. Everyone has obligations outside of the craft, but everyone has the same twenty-four hours in a day. If writing is your passion, you won't wait to find time to write. You'll make time to write.

Kell says:

It's harder to write when you have other demands on your time. But if you want it bad enough, or if your characters won't leave you alone, you'll find a way.

Really, that's what it comes down to in the end. If you're a writer, you make time to write. Many, many writers have full-time jobs and write on the side to share their stories. And it works.

So make it work for you.

Holidays and Stress

Every year, blogs, magazines, newspapers, and even news shows run specials about how to deal with the stress of the holidays.  They offer good advice for every day people dealing with financial strain, familial drama, and how-am-I-going-to-stick-to-my-diet worries.  They give tips on how to save money, how to keep the peace with family, and what foods you can eat without worrying about fitting into your New Year's dress the next week.

However, they tend to overlook the additional stresses that just so happen to come with being a writer during the holidays, particularly if that writer uses writing as a livelihood as some of us do.  ::raises hand::

One of the beauties of freelance writing is that we can (usually) work from anywhere.  That means we can take a vacation and still be able to meet deadlines.  It's wonderful, in theory, but it also means we don't really get time off unless we're willing and able to not get paid for it.  So when the holidays roll around, you may not be able to take off a few days to spend with the family that's in town, which adds considerably to the stress that already exists.  (For advice on balancing writing and the holidays, check out my post from last month.)

One of the major stresses for (freelance) writers is the realization that if we don't write, we don't get paid.  So it's very tempting to write through the holidays to be able to have a little extra income available.  However, you run the risk of being more stressed with a crazy holiday schedule than you would if you took a few days off.

One solution to this is to plan ahead for taking a few days off.  See if you can get extra work between Thanksgiving and Christmas (or earlier) to make up for income you may lose at the end of December.  It may be a great time to pick up extra hours, as well, since other writers may be visiting friends and family, or scaling back their workload for the holidays.

Another source of stress for writers can be organizing financial records for the end of the year.  Self-employment can be a little crazy during tax season, and it's important to have everything organized to make the process a little easier.

To help keep yourself from worrying too much about your financial records during the holidays, try getting as much done early as possible, then working on it a little each day for the rest of the year.  I, for example, have an expandable file folder and each pocket is one day of the week.  I put the receipts in the folder, and then when I update my accounts ledger once a week, I initial and date the receipt, then move it to a set of file folders marked with the months of the year.  Staying organized is one way to help keep stress to a minimum.

There is always some stress that comes with holidays, especially if you're hosting or visiting friends or family.*  But if you plan ahead, take it little by little, and remember that you're really supposed to be having fun, you can have a happy holiday season, stress-free!

*NOTE: This isn't a comment about drama; it's a comment about how stressful it can be to keep a group of people happy.

Balancing Writing and the Holidays

Thanksgiving is next week (for those who celebrate it in the U.S., that is).  And for those of us participating in the chaos of NaNoWriMo, Thanksgiving is not just a time of the celebration of food with family and friends, but a day (or more) away from adding to the word count.  Add to this the complications of planning and/or hosting the November feast, and Thanksgiving could mean much more time away from the scribbling during the end of the month when time is vital to reaching that 50,000-word goal.

So what do you do when the holidays roll around and you have deadlines and word count goals?  Balance is, of course, the key in such situations.  You can, in fact, make time for family/friends and writing during the holidays.  It just takes a little creative scheduling and determination to accomplish your goals.

Plan ahead.  Because I know I'll be busy through Thanksgiving weekend (and probably on Wednesday, as well), I'm trying to get extra writing done this week so in case I don't get any writing done until after Thanksgiving, I'll at least have boosted my word count this week so I won't be faced with writing 30,000 words in the last few days of November.  If you write even an extra 500 words (that's about two pages double-spaced) each day this week, you'll be in a better position to not write on Thursday and Friday next week.  This is probably your best tool in balancing writing with the holidays.  The more you get done ahead of time, the more you can enjoy your holiday without worrying about looming deadlines or making your NaNo word count.

Remember: there will be down time.  Even families who want to do a lot together when they visit will need a little time away from the chaos to relax.  During those times, pick up a pad and paper--or sneak away to your computer--and get a little scribbling done.  Even if it's just an hour, you can add to your word count without taking away from family time.  Just be sure to use your down time wisely to keep on top of your writing during the holidays.

Keep a notepad and pen by your bed.  I try to keep pen and paper in my nightstand regardless of what month it is, but during November, I make sure I have a small notebook or notepad and a pen handy for when I go to bed.  Even after a long day with family/friends, I don't fall asleep right away, and the time I have before falling asleep I can use to get a little writing done.  This works in the mornings, as well.  Try getting up an hour or two before everyone else to get some writing done before breakfast.  It'll be nice and quiet, and boosting your word count is a great way to start your day!

Above all, go with the flow.  You may not be able to add to your word count during the holidays.  That's okay.  When the family says goodbye and your friends go home, the writing will still be there.  If you're in the middle of a great scene and you get interrupted because Nana wants help making noodles from scratch, make a couple of notes to help you remember where you are and go make noodles.  Family comes first, and you never know what great scenes may arise from conversations during the holidays!

Enjoy the time you have next week with family and friends.  Relax, do a little scribbling, have some turkey.  And I'll see you on the other side.

Happy scribbling!