Fair warning: This is a vague, personal, kind of rambly post. If that's not your thing, feel free to skip it.
I make a conscious effort to live without regretting my decisions, knowing that I made the best decision based on the information I had at the time. Sometimes it's hard, especially when a decision turns out to be the wrong one. But all I can do is move forward from where I am and make it work.
Over the past couple of years (especially a couple of years ago), I've had to make some hard decisions. Some of the decisions have changed my life in dramatic ways. I'm happy with the decisions I've made. Even the really hard ones were the best decision.
But today my confidence wavered just a bit about one decision in particular that I had to make.
Intellectually, I know it was a good decision, and I had to do it. But for a moment, I wondered if it wasn't a bad decision. I wondered if I could have avoided it. I wondered if there's anything I could do to change it.
I hate feeling this way. And I think it's worse because of what decision it is in the context of so many of the recent changes in my personal life. Usually, when I have glimmers of regret, I remind myself of the things I've gained from the decision I'm struggling with. It didn't help this time.
I'm sure I'll get over it. I'll remember why I made the decision I did. I'll continue moving forward and have new decisions to make.
But this week, I have a little knot in my stomach.