Being a Writer

If, years ago, you'd asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you without hesitation that I wanted to be a writer. There had been other ideas, other thoughts for the future, but somehow seeing my name on a book cover (or even a movie screen!) was the highest dream I knew.

And then, reality showed up. Turns out I never considered the minor detail of actually making a living until I scored that million-dollar book deal and rose to literary stardom.

College came and went, with radio and television production my sensible major of choice, and shortly after I found my place at a local radio station. I joke that I'll grow up and get a real job someday, but in a way, my path never led me too far from my first dream. Good radio is all about telling stories well, and I came to live in those stories daily. The urge to write never really went away.

In November 2008, something shifted. I challenged myself to the NaNoWriMo way of writing a 50,000 word novel in a month. It came in spurts and drips, but with one final push on the last night of the month, I crossed the goal and typed "The End" on my first completed manuscript. It was messy. It was riddled with plot-holes and bad dialogue. It was awful and beautiful. And I was addicted.

I realized that I had become a Writer when I wasn't paying attention. Or...maybe I had always been one!

I have a hard time thinking of myself as a real-life, Capital W "Writer" most of the time. When I was drowning in the deep end of marathon novel-writing, a friend, noticing the constant word-count angst of my Facebook updates commented, "Oh! I didn't know you were a writer!" I wanted to say, "Yes, I am!" but it was hard. Was I a writer? I'd never finished anything but fragments that nobody was allowed to read. But since then, I've felt the title settling around me. It's taken many words, some more useful than others, to get there, but I'm finally okay with being a writer.

After years of struggling and scratching, thinking and reading about writing (as opposed to actually...y'know...writing), I learned that it's not something you do, but something you are. Writers are people with heads full of stories and ink in their blood. Chances are, if you've found your way to this blog, you are a writer whether you know it or not. Maybe you're published, or maybe you can just barely squeeze a few lines in a journal around family and a day job and life. But all you need is a spark, a desire, and something to mark on. Even if no one else reads it, you are a writer. That's the truth that can escape us when we say "I'll write the novel when I'm good enough," or, "I've never been published, so I'm not a real writer."

I don't believe publishing credit and profit is the reason to write. Our task is simple, but kind of scary: writers are here to help make sense of the world. Madeleine L'Engle said it best in Walking on Water: "the artist is someone who is full of questions, who cries them out in great angst, who discovers rainbow answers in the darkness and then rushes to canvas or paper." Imagine that! Your words could change the world, even by making sense of a small part of it, by bringing a moment of joy or wonder or sadness or reflection.

So pick up your pen. Find ways to share your gifts in everyday life. Sharpen your craft. Connect with others who share your passion, love them and learn from them.

And don't stop looking for those rainbow answers! The world needs people like you to help find them. What will you write today?

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Jen Rose is a writer, but she's just now figuring that out. By day, she's a production assistant at Z88.3 FM in Orlando, Florida (though she really likes the title "audio ninja"). By night, weekends, and the occasional lunch break, she writes stuff. She's currently working on her first novel, and she reviews music for JesusFreakHideout.com and blogs at Divinest Sense. She also likes Twitter followers who are not spam, bots, or marketing gurus. Follow her.