Now that summer is over....

Now that we're into September, I'm shifting gears mentally into the fall. There's a lot we're looking forward to for this fall.

I'm launching a website.

I'm expanding my freelancing work to include specialized marketing services, so I'm building my website. I was hoping to have it up by the beginning of the month, but I ran into some complications, so now it'll be up at the end of the month instead. Either way, I'll have the website up and running soon, along with content to generate inbound leads.

I'm looking forward to it, and I think it'll be good for my career to get some private clients. I've kind of reached a plateau with the clients I currently have. So I'm ready to take the next step with my work and build a client base creating content marketing for a niche market. It's a demographic I'm passionate about, and I'm looking forward to immersing myself in that community in order to build clients and help businesses build their own customer bases.

We're taking a family vacation.

I graduated from college ten years ago, so this year's Homecoming at my alma mater will be a reunion Homecoming. I thought it would be a good opportunity to take Bo up to Illinois to meet the rest of my family, some of my friends, and to see the town I consider to be my hometown.

The original plan was that it would be a trip just for Bo and me, but now that the munchkins are homeschooled, they're coming with us, and we're turning it into a big field trip for school. Bo and I are making booklets for the kids to take with them that will include worksheets (math problems, geography, etc.) and activities (mazes, puzzles, journal prompts) to do each day. By the end of the trip they workbook will be complete. When we get back we'll print some pictures from the trip and the booklet will be part scrapbook and part workbook for school.

We're continuing to homeschool.

The kids have been out of public school since April, and we started officially homeschooling on June 1st (though we started unofficially before then). Now that it's autumn and public school is in full swing, we're continuing to push forward with homeschooling. Bo handles math and science, Monty handles social studies, and I handle Language Arts (reading, writing, spelling, grammar, etc.).

It's a dynamic that works well for us, and I love being able to teach what Puck needs to know by allowing him to write short stories. The kids are thriving academically, and we have the flexibility to do things like taking a family vacation in October since we can make workbooks to take with and continue their education even when they're in the car.

Autumn is going to be busy, but happy.

Reconnecting with family

Wifey and I had a mini-vacation over the weekend. We spent part of Labor Day weekend at my sister-in-law's house with her, her husband, and my parents-in-law. It was a quick weekend, but very fun. We went to the local museum of science and history where there happened to be a dinosaur exhibit. (We took lots of pictures for Puck!) We only stayed one night, but it was nice. We got away for a little bit and got to spend some time with family.

Sometimes those kinds of trips are the best for me. Between my introvert-ness and fibromyalgia pain and fatigue, short trips are just about all I can handle. I get the benefit of reconnecting with family and friends (and leave the apartment) without overwhelming myself or doing too much.

Sometimes those kinds of trips are just what I need. They give me a break from the chaos of the everyday without taking too much time away. I can recharge, but I don't have to plan for a vacation away from work.

It's one of the advantages to having family leaving nearby enough for weekend trips. I can take little trips and recharge and I don't have to leave the state.

That doesn't mean I'm not really excited about our upcoming family vacation, It'll be our first big roadtrip as a whole family, and even though it'll be taxing and take a lot of planning and organization and preparation, it's going to be a wonderful trip.

They're never too young to learn consent

Consent is a big deal.

Always.

And it goes both ways because men can be assaulted, as well. And women can assault women.

So one of the things that's really important for Bo and I is to teach the kids about consent. Both that they must receive it and give it for things to happen, like physical contact (hugs and kisses).

There are a few reasons we want them to know this, even as kids. First of all, we don't want the kids to feel obligated to give hugs and kisses to people (like family) so that if someone, whether family or not, tries to touch them inappropriately, they will know they are not obligated to consent.

My body, my choice.

Even with family.

Another reason we want the kids to know this is because they need to know and accept that "my body, my choice" extends to others, as well. Yes, Tink, it is your body and your choice. But it is also Puck's body and his choice whether or not he will accept hugs or kisses from you. And when they get older, they'll know that they must also make sure that the person they want to be intimate with or even hug or kiss more casually wants that contact.

My body, my choice.

With everyone.

Tink is an extrovert who loves hugs and kisses. So sometimes she gets so excited she forgets. At this age, we gently remind her, and usually she apologizes (to the person she had physical contact with) for not asking first. And those instances are getting fewer and further between.

Even at five and seven years old,

my body, my choice.

The scribbling family

One of the reasons I wanted to meet Bo was because I knew she was a writer. I thought that, if nothing else, we could become writerly friends. I lucked out and ended up with an amazing wife instead.

But there has always been the writing.

Life has been chaotic in the last couple years, especially with the kids' health and my own health. So writing has taken a back seat a bit (outside of my work, at least). But now that things are finally settling down and we have a good routine, Bo and I are both working toward making more time for writing. We've set up a desk for her in the bedroom, and I've adjusted my daily schedule a bit to give her a few hours every afternoon during which she can write (or do whatever else she wants to do).

Sometimes you have to be
a superhero to write a story.

It's not only Bo and I that write stories. Puck is a writer, too.

In order to teach elements of stories (protagonist, antagonist, etc.), I had Puck fill out worksheets to develop characters and a plot, and then write a story. He loved it. He's written two stories (about dragons), And last week, he saw a toy gryphon and said, "I have an idea for my next story."

I think he's a scribbler, too.

I love that our family is full of writers. I love seeing the creativity when Puck and Bo are developing their ideas. I love sharing story ideas with them and talking about how to make them better.

Most of all, I love seeing the pride and joy on Puck's face when he reads us his latest story.

I'm so proud of him, and I can't wait to see what else he's going to come up with this school year.

In the meantime, Bo and I will be scribbling away, as well.

I am her first and best advocate

Photo by Brandi Gilbertson

If you've been following this blog for a while, you probably already know about Tink's health concerns. They've been going on since her birth (well, before her birth, really), and sometimes I feel like we're going in circles trying to figure out what's causing these problems.

Right now, the most important issue we're dealing with is failure to thrive. We've ruled out any physical GI problem. Her blood work (almost) always comes back perfectly normal. So we're taking her care in a different direction: psychological.

Tink's pediatrician has referred her for behavioral therapy for a probable feeding disorder. We're optimistic that the treatment plan will help her, and we'll be able to get her healthy.

The problem is that my mama-sense is still tingling.

When Tink was still in infancy (a little over a year old) we took her to see a pediatric geneticist. While he didn't find anything at that time he could diagnose her with, he had a few conditions in mind that she could have, but was too young to meet the diagnostic criteria for. There were also a couple of conditions he was thinking about, but they would have required specialized genetic testing to diagnose, and he wasn't prepared to do that at that time.

As Tink has gotten older and (somewhat) bigger, the geneticist's report keeps echoing in my mind. I've done a little research (I know), and I can see signs of one of the conditions the geneticist mentioned all that time ago.

I'm reluctant to say, "I think Tink has this" to a pediatrician or other health care professional because I don't want to sound alarmist or that I'm looking for something more serious to be wrong with her. I don't want that at all. I want my daughter to be healthy. And the key to getting her healthy is finding out the cause of these problems.

As her mom, I know I am Tink's first and best advocate. I know what's normal and abnormal. I know if she's okay or not okay. And I have to follow my instincts when advocating for her.

I do think she might have one of the conditions the geneticist mentioned. But she might not. And I definitely think the more pressing concern is addressing her probable feeding disorder. Once that's out of the way, she'll either get better or we'll move on to the next round of diagnostic testing.

And I will always advocate for her as fiercely as I can.

Happy Birthday, Puck!

Photo by Brandi Gilbertson

Tomorrow my sweet boy turns seven.

I can hardly believe it.

Puck has grown and changed so very much in the last seven years. We've had some challenges and successes, but overall he's healthy and happy and on his way toward becoming the person he wants to be.

Puck is smart. When you give him something to do, he'll pick it up quickly and effectively. He likes being a helper, and he likes knowing how to do interesting and useful things. Some of his favorite toys are puzzles and anything he has to build.

Since we've started homeschooling, he's excelled in math and science. He's passionate about science, too. He reads non-fiction books (particularly those about animals) nearly every day. He can recall facts about animals easily, and it has given as a way to nurture a love of learning in him. He's an excellent student.

Photo by Brandi Gilbertson

Now that he's securely in the "school-age child" portion of his life, other aspects of his personality are starting to emerge. He's funny, and has a very sarcastic sense of humor. He loves to trick people (playfully, of course), play pranks, and tell jokes.

Puck is clearly his own person. He does things his own way, even if it means he sometimes does things the hard way. Eventually, though, he figures things out on his own or asks someone for help to figure it out.

I am honored to be his mom and to get to be a part of his growing up.

I'm eager to see everything that's still to come in his childhood. I'm eager to see the teenager and young adult he grows into years down the road. And, for now, we'll celebrate seven.

Happy Birthday, Puck. Mama loves you.

Photo by Brandi Gilbertson

What does chronic illness look like?

Since being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I've had to make some adjustments in my life. Some of these adjustments have been good, like getting medication so I'm not in pain all the time. Other adjustments have been more of a challenge.

The biggest challenge I've faced so far is adjusting how I see myself now that I'm labelled as someone with a chronic illness.

Fibromyalgia is a lifelong diagnosis. I will always have it, I will always combat pain and its other symptoms. And it may get worse as I get older.

Because of this illness, there are things I have to do differently in my life. For now (maybe not forever), I'm giving up the idea of being able to run a marathon. Or run at all, for that matter. My exercise has to be more gentle to my body.

I'm also adjusting my daily schedule to accommodate my fatigue. I'm becoming a polyphasic sleeper (not to take advantage of the benefits, but simply because that seems to be what's easiest for my body and work/family schedule).

Right now, I'm trying to find a balance between the diagnosis and the identity. Yes, I have fibromyalgia, but I am not fibromyalgia.

One of the ways I'm doing this is by reading Toni Bernhard's How to Be Sick. So far I like her approach to chronic illness.

There is illness here, but I am not ill.

This approach is allowing me to make accommodations for the illness without letting myself get pulled into a black hole of "I can't because fibromyalgia."

I am tired and I hurt. But I still work and I still care for my family and I still do the things I need to do in order to be the woman I want to be.

It's still a process. There are days I let the fibromyalgia keep me from doing what I need to do.

There are days it has to.

When those days happen, I do what I can and try again tomorrow.

I have fibromyalgia, but I am not fibromyalgia.

As we near the end of summer

Summer is one of the slow times in my work. My primary work revolves around the academic year, so I have a lull in the summer and in December/January.

Image source: punsayaporn / freedigitalphotos.net

This year I had mixed feelings about getting to the lull. My workload in spring was quite heavy, and I needed the break once it finally came. At the same time, the void left by a lack of work was a bit frightening, knowing that my work is what our family relies on for survival.

Work picked up a little bit this month, and I know that the levels will return to normal soon. And eventually, I'll be looking forward to the break I get at the end of the year.

Despite the lull in work, I've tried to stay productive. I'm working on a few things that have to stay in the background for now, and this has been a good time to do some administrative work, get some elements lined up, and prepare for the fall season of work.

Each week and month that passes, I'm taking steps to move my career in the direction I want it to go. I'm closer to the career person I want to be, and I'm excited about what's coming.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying my summer lull, the extra time with the kids, and the chance to let myself rest a bit before the chaos of autumn begins.

How's your summer going?

Coffee-stained health

Some of you may already know that I've been having some health problems lately.

In addition to the diagnosis of rosacea, I've been dealing with a great deal of pain and fatigue that has been increasing for the last couple of years. So I got a referral from my primary care physician to go to a rheumatologist.

I saw the rheumatologist a couple of weeks ago, and he diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. His exact words were, "Well, you definitely have fibromyalgia."

Okay, then.

In addition, he thinks I also have some kind of autoimmune condition "in the lupus family." So he ordered a lot of blood work to try and determine what else, if anything, I have. Once we know what's going on, we can develop a treatment plan that helps deal with all of my symptoms. The blood work is done and I'll get the results at my follow up appointment in a couple of weeks.

If I warn you that my veins roll, it's for a reason.
This is that reason.

The experience was not exactly pleasant. I don't like getting blood drawn. I always warn whoever is drawing my blood that my veins roll and they have to be anchored. I always bruise. Sometimes (like this last time) very badly. But if it helps get answers, it's worth it in the end.

It was abrupt, this change from "something's wrong" to "chronic illness."

In the progression of what I've been experiencing, along with comments from my primary care doctor, I had a pretty good idea of what's been going on. But hearing the words made it real. I know that I'm going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

There is a mental and emotional shift. There are things I just can't do anymore, and things I won't be able to do when I'm in a flare (like right now). The past few week it has been hard to accept that the reason I can't do these things is because of my body, not because of my personality. There are things that I can't change, and instead of beating myself up and getting angry because I can't do certain things, I am having to create and adapt to my new normal.

It's going to be a process. And in the meantime, I'm doing what I can.

Modifying my green book

I've been using a planner (with a green cover) for quite some time. I call it my green book. In that time, I've tried different things with it here and there, and tried different planners, but I usually returned to some incarnation of the green book.

But it wasn't really working for me. I didn't have the space I needed for notes, and the layouts of the pages locked me in to using the planner in a very specific way.

It just wasn't working.

So as I was wandering around online to try and find some workarounds, I discovered bullet journaling, created by Ryder Carroll. It's a way of incorporating planning, scheduling, notes, and to-do lists all in one place. The foundation of the method is simplicity and flexibility. You can use any notebook and pen and find a way to make it exactly what you need it to be.

Here's the video on Carroll's website:

If you Google bullet journals, the image results will be full of artistically magnificent pictures of layouts and notes and oh, my goddess the pretties. And that's wonderful for those using their bullet journals as an artistic outlet. That's not me. I express myself in words, not visual art.

So I'm sticking much, much more closely to the original method developed by Carroll. I've incorporated a couple of chart-style trackers and I'm using a different method for indexing, but other than that, my bullet journal is very simple.

I can tell you that even using this method just this month has helped me stay much more organized. I have everything in one place, and the method plays into my need to write things down in order to remember them. (I ♥ analog planners!)

Because of the method's simplicity and flexibility, I'm able to make it anything I want it to be. I use it to track projects for work, it includes my blogging editorial calendar, planning and task lists for our upcoming family vacation, and even my "40 before 40" list.

I plan to stick with this planning method through the end of the year to decide whether I really like it or not. If I don't, I can go back to a different planner at the beginning of 2017.

In the meantime, I like it quite a bit.