01 April 2016

Apparently my body kind of hates me

Before medication
Almost three weeks ago I was diagnosed with rosacea.

It's something I've been dealing with for a long time. When I spoke with my dermatologist about it, I told him that it seemed to start in adolescence and we thought it was normal teenage acne, but it just never went away. It was frustrating, but I eventually just accepted that I had bad skin.

I discovered things that make it worse: the sun, heat, cold, stress, exercise, anxiety....

When I had my physical, my primary care doctor sent me to a dermatologist not only for the rash on my face, but because I have malignant melanoma in my family history, I have fair skin, and I live in Florida. I should have already been going to the dermatologist for yearly check-ups.

The dermatologist put me on a treatment regimen, which includes an oral medication along with some topical treatments. As of this writing, I've been on the treatment for just under two weeks.

Less than two weeks on medication
I'm pleased with the results.

Of course, I am critical of myself, so I see the redness that's still across my cheeks and the bumps that haven't gone away. But I also see that there is a big improvement. My wife looked at me the other day and said it looked like I was wearing makeup.

I don't expect my skin to be perfect because of the treatment. (Especially because I'm not giving up coffee. Because that's ridiculous.) But I'm so happy with the change that's already happened. I feel more confident in myself, and don't worry that everyone I meet is staring at my face, judging me for my bad skin.

Self-care is good.

Now that my rosacea has been diagnosed and is being treated, I can move on to the next health concern.

I've been struggling with chronic pain for quite some time, and now I have an appointment scheduled with a rheumatologist. The appointment isn't until early summer, but it's at least on my calendar. And I may be able to get in sooner if there's a cancellation.

In the meantime, I'm managing the pain as best I can. I've reduced my exercise goals so I can be a little gentler to myself. I'm taking medicine when I need it, and taking breaks when I need them. There are days when all I want to do is lay on the couch with ice packs on my joints and a Law & Order marathon on TV. Other days, I almost forget that there are bad days.

I know that once I meet with a rheumatologist I'll be able to get some answers. I'll eventually get a diagnosis and on a treatment plan, and then maybe I'll feel as good as I'm starting to look.

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