Caribbean Elite to Set Sail Sep. 27

EP--The first-ever Elitist Bastard luxury cruise will be setting sail on September 27, 2008 for a Caribbean cruise designed to bring out the best in the guests onboard.

The ship, christened the Caribbean Elite, is a 300,000-ton cruise ship able to hold up to 700 passengers, though the captain of the ship, NP, explained, "We don't offer staterooms to more than 100 passengers at a time. We don't want people thinking anybody is welcome. [The ship is] strictly invitation only. We've been given the Elitist status by the World Elitist Board for a reason."

On August 8, Dana Hunter, founder of the Carnival of Elitist Bastards and inspiration for this luxury liner, was asked to christen the ship as it entered water for the first time at an event promoting the ship and its first voyage. The press was not allowed onboard, and there is currently no information available about the interior of the ship. All guests were asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement prior to booking their staterooms, but, being elitist bastards, none of them did.

Caribbean Elite Christened at Port Canaveral

EP (Elitist Press)--The first-ever luxury liner designed entirely for elitist bastards was christened today by Dana Hunter, founder of the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards and inspiration for the ship.

The luxury liner is the largest to date, and the guests are permitted on board only after a rigorous screening by the High Mistress of Elitism, Dana Hunter. PZ Myers applied for the position, but was turned down after his declaration that the ship would, in fact, sail empty because no one could possibly meet his high criteria for the guest list.

Captain NP has been secretive about the ship, stating only in press conferences that the Caribbean Elite is "the quintessential experience in elitist travel." No press has been allowed onboard for interviews or photos, having been told they are unqualified to do justice to a description of the ship or any write-up of the event.

The christening was attended by elitists of all areas, none of whom spoke with the press. The event took place in Port Canaveral, Florida, which is where the ship will first set sail on Sep. 27 for a seven-day Caribbean cruise.