A couple of weeks ago, a comment was put on my blog. The comment was a link to a blog post from a Catholic blogger who claims to be "struggling with same-sex attraction" and in response to my post "Don't love me anyway." The post was written way back in April, so I'm not sure why the comment is only showing up lately, but it is.
I have read this post a few times (even downloading it with the intention of printing it and making notes in the margins), and have been very conflicted about responding to it. The more I read it, the angrier I became about not only the specifics of the post, but about the whole idea of it in general. Each new idea written by this blogger had me shaking my head, thinking "No, that's not it at all" when she assumed she knew why I reacted the way I did to two people--one of whom is my father--saying they "love me anyway" when I came out to them.
I could write an entire series of posts on this. I could quote the Bible and Biblical scholars and scientists and psychologists. I could spend a great deal of screen space explaining why this blogger's assumptions about my reasoning, thought processes, and what's in my heart is flat-out wrong.
But it just doesn't matter.
I stand by the decisions I have made in my life. I haven't always taken the easy path, but I am committed to living authentically as myself, and raising my children to do the same.
I am gay, and I'm not ashamed of that. I don't feel guilty about living a gay lifestyle. I'm not doing anything wrong.
And yes, I was hurt by the comment from those two people in my life, but not at all for the reasons you think. And I will continue to be hurt by those kinds of comments each and every time I hear them.
I may still address the issues brought up in this post in the future (in a different context than feeling the need to defend myself against the assumptions made in that open letter). But for now, I'll leave the post where it is and know that this open letter is terribly misguided for countless reasons.
As a final thought, I have linked the post above. If you choose to read it and contribute to the conversation, I urge you to be kind in your comments. Stand up for what you believe in, but please don't be ugly or mean when you post. There's already too much ugliness and meanness in the world for people with good intentions to add to it.