I started out participating in a blog series called Embracing Self-Care, which was meant to get bloggers and readers to focus on taking care of themselves when needed.
This can be a hard thing for moms (and dads) and anyone who has responsibilities outside of themselves. I have two small children, a new puppy, and I'm self-employed. There are many times self-care is just a vague concept on my "someday" task list.
It's just what happens sometimes.
But I've been really trying to walk the walk of self-care lately. Intellectually, I know how important it is to take care of yourself (first sometimes), so you can be a better caretaker to others in the long run. So the past couple of weeks I've specifically set aside some time to take care of myself in the ways I've needed to.
As a result, I've not been blogging as often as I'd like. I've tried (I have about four drafts started), but it just hasn't happened.
I'm optimistic that things are getting better. Not only am I getting back into my routine, but I'm working toward answers about my health that I've had for quite a while.*
It feels selfish to me sometimes to be thinking about myself like this. I know I need to. And so I do. But I have friends who are not doing as well as me or have fewer answers than me or who are dealing with their own illnesses and simultaneously dealing with their children's illnesses.... and I feel selfish putting myself ahead of others.
So I remind myself that it doesn't work for me to compare myself to others. I don't know their full stories, and they don't know mine. All I can do is what I know to be best for my family. Sometimes that means staying up late (or getting up early) to get things done, and sometimes that means taking a half day off work to go to appointments and take care of myself.
There are days I get everything done and still have time at the end of the day to play Go Fish with the kids or kill murlocs with Yvaine. There are other days I don't get anything done except talk to the munchkins on Skype.
All I can do is what I can do. And that has to be good enough some days.
*I'm not ready yet to share what's going on. Sorry. When I have more answers and a better plan, I'm sure I will.