19 February 2014

The transformative power of not caring what other people think.

One of the things I've been focused on recently is letting go of things much more quickly. I try not to let things get to me the way I once did, and try to give people the benefit of the doubt as much as I possibly can.

I didn't used to be this way. It used to be that things would eat at me for a long time. I'd continue to worry or be frustrated or angry. Or I would expect to be wronged by people, particularly if things were going well. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, as they say.

Pleasure garden with a maze
by Lodewijck Toeput
But I'm a different person now. And with this transformation has come a great sense of peace in my life.

By not letting things bother me and not worrying nearly as much what people think of me, I have far less to worry about, and I'm able to be more present in my life, focusing on the things that really matter.

It hasn't been easy. I am generally the type of person who cares very much what others think. I hate upsetting people, and am very non-confrontational. I try to do what I can to avoid conflict with people or doing anything they might not like. And even if I thought I'd done or said something to upset someone, it would eat at me for a long time after.

Now I'm better able to let go of those situations and remember that if someone has a problem with me, it's on them to let me know about it, if they expect anything to change (which might not happen anyway). I am finally happy with who I am and where I am in my life. And I won't let anyone make me feel badly about it.

As with anything, it's a process. I still have days I worry about things, or find myself mulling over conversations after they're over. But it's much better than it was, and it happens only occasionally. And I just take it a day at a time. It makes for a much happier writer.

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