Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

03 November 2015

After a month of marriage....

Bo and I have been married for one month today. There's been a lot going on in our lives, and it has made the month seem to pass more quickly. So here we are, a month after the magical day, and I haven't even written about it.

A. Harris Photography
We held our ceremony at a beautiful outdoor location that is connected to a public golf course. The reception was held in the venue's banquet room.

A. Harris Photography

The weather was perfect: nice, but not hot, and not too bright that we needed sunglasses. And yes, I did wear blue suede t-strap heels with my dress.

A. Harris Photography

We wrote our own vows, and Bo's sister, who is a notary public, performed our ceremony. I'm glad it was someone we knew who could speak to our relationship instead of someone whose ceremony would have been far more generic.

A. Harris Photography

Afterward, we had a beautiful reception indoors. With all the food you could imagine, and our simply delicious cake. The top layer was Boston creme pie (mostly for the kids), and the bottom layer was pumpkin spice with cream cheese filling.

A. Harris Photography

Oh, yeah. We also had a s'more station. It was the kids' favorite. Kind of mine, too.

A. Harris Photography

It was a beautiful day, and I don't think it could have gone any better than it did. After all, what could be better than your very own princess at your wedding? We have memories to last a lifetime, and amazing pictures as evidence.

And now, one month later, we have settled into our routine, and life is good.

Happy, monthiversary, my Bo. I love you.

08 September 2015

On marriage licenses and equality

Bo and I picked up our marriage license this morning in preparation for our wedding in about three weeks.

We didn't have any problems getting the license, and were congratulated by two staff members. In fact, the woman who helped us was even apologetic that the license says "groom," and said we could cross it out if we wanted to.*

And I couldn't help but thinking that I'm glad we don't live in Kentucky, where Kim Davis made the decision that her personal beliefs gave her justification to willfully defy a ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court and refuse to issue marriage licenses in order to prevent from "participating" in the sin that is same-sex marriage.

I haven't blogged about Kim Davis. I've shared articles on Facebook here and there, and talked about it quite a bit with Bo. But I've been sort of avoiding talking about it here until more news came out. I thought it would be settled by now and I'd be able to write about it with a better understanding of the overall situation.

In case you don't know what's been going on, here are the highlights:

  • Kim Davis, a circuit clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky, is a born-again Christian (she was saved four years ago) in a conservative denomination that condemns homosexuality and same-sex marriage.
  • Following the ruling by the Supreme Court, Davis made the decision to not issue marriage licenses because her name is on the application (as the clerk), and she believes that her name on the licenses makes her party to gay marriage and culpable in these people's sins.
  • Despite Davis's efforts to legally allow this ban through her claim that issuing the licenses discriminates against her religious practices, all of her appeals failed, leading SCOTUS to issue a one-line ruling upholding the previous ruling that said she must issue licenses.
  • When she continued to refuse, including instructing her deputy clerks that they were also not permitted to issue licenses, she was held in contempt of court. The judge told her that she would not be jailed if she would allow the deputy clerks to issue licenses in her stead, which she refused.
  • She has been jailed for contempt of court. The judge told the deputy clerks that they could either issue licenses or join her in jail. Five of the six (the one hold-out being her son) agreed to issue licenses.
  • Kim Davis is still in jail, and has attempted to file a new appeal.

Image source
There are a lot of factors in this case. On one hand, Kim Davis has a sincerely held belief that by issuing marriage licenses to queer couples, she is not only condoning the sin/behavior, but is equal part in it because her name is on the form. She is signing off on the marriage. I can see how she interprets that as her acceptance of same-sex marriage as an institution in the United States. Her signature makes the union legal in the county, so her signature says, "Yes, these two individuals are married."

That's one of the things she has a problem with. If her name/signature wasn't on the form, I believe she would still have refused to issue licenses, but that's a separate issue.

However, she's overreaching quite a bit. Not only did she take it too far by refusing to allow the deputy clerks to issue licenses, thereby putting their jobs in jeopardy (not to mention risking jail time), but she is also taking it too far by claiming that issuing licenses to same-sex couples (which, let's be honest, is the main component of her position as an elected official) constitutes religious discrimination.

I fail to see how issuing licenses with your name on them discriminates against you as a religious individual. So did the court.

Because, when you really look at the situation, you have to remember that the founding fathers established a concept called "separation of church and state," for this very reason. Allowing government officials, like county clerks, to make decisions and enact policies based on their individual religious beliefs and practices is dangerously close to sanctioning a state church. (Kind of the whole reason people left England to begin with, yanno?)

When she goes to work, she is no longer a private citizen. She is an elected official. Her religious beliefs don't matter because she wasn't elected and is not employed by the church or even by Christians. She is beholden to the law, when she took an oath** as an elected official, she swore to uphold the law and the Constitution, which now includes marriage equality in the nation. She can't just not follow certain laws because she doesn't like them or agree with them. Our nation doesn't work that way.

And, just as importantly, legalities of her duties aside, her rights only extend as far as someone else's. When she refused to issue marriage licenses, she violated the rights of the couples who were refused. And she can't do that, either.

One of the many problems with this situation is that, as an elected official, she can't just be fired. There's a whole process to remove her from office through impeachment. But she is finally being held accountable for her failure to do her job. And I hope that Rowan County (and Kentucky) continue to follow through with that.

Of course, the conservatives are having a field day now that she's in jail. She's become a martyr for the cause, with her husband even comparing her to the Biblical figures of Silas and Paul who were imprisoned for their adherence to their beliefs.

No. No.

She's not a martyr. She's not a conservative Christian hero. She's a small-minded woman who let her personal feelings and beliefs justify breaking hte law and is now being called to account for it.

Mark 12:17, y'all.

She may be a Christian, and may believe that she must ultimately answer to her god. But even Jesus recognized and accepted that there are laws and expectations set up on earth that Christians must adhere to. You can't claim god as a justification for breaking the law and defying a court ruling.

She's learning that the hard way. It's too bad that most of her fans won't really get the lesson, anyway.




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*Bo said she doesn't care that it says groom. All she cares about is that it's legal for us to get married.

**The teachings of her denomination encourages members not to take oaths for this very reason, actually. When the oath conflicts with religious beliefs, it causes this kind of dilemma.

26 June 2015

It is so ordered.

So, this morning...

Source


...because...

Source

Though it may have been kicking and screaming, the United States has been brought to the right side of history. Here's what transpired between yesterday and today:

Source

It looks so much prettier now, don't you think? And more like the United States of America.

Here is the decision for those who would like to read it. According to the decision:
No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. 
The judgement of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed. 
It is so ordered.
Good job, SCOTUS.

01 September 2008

Are You a Martha or a Mary?

There is a parable in the Bible about Martha and Mary, and what happened when Christ visited the sisters. You can read the story in the Scriptures here, but this is the basics of what happened.
Christ visited Martha and Mary. Martha, playing the role of hostess, worked to make the Lord comfortable and ensure he had everything he needed.

Meanwhile, Mary sat with Christ, letting Martha work, and chatted with him. Martha, irritated at being left all the work while Mary had a great conversation with the Lord they
both loved, "tattles" on Mary. Martha asks the Lord, "Doesn't it bother you that I'm doing all the work without the help of my sister? Then ask her to help me."

Jesus responds,
"Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
When I first heard this story in Sunday school years ago, I was a little confused at Jesus' response to Martha. Was he making her do the serving on her own because she tattled? Or maybe he liked Mary better?

This story is used as an example of priorities. Martha took on the traditional role of a woman in this culture by serving. Mary, on the other hand, set aside cultural norms to sit at the feet of Jesus. And Jesus tells Martha that Mary has "chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Mary chose to put Christ first, and that is what is praised in this story. Marcellino D'Ambrosio, Ph.D. explains Mary's choice well when he says:
Mary thought that the supreme compliment that she could pay to her divine guest, even more than world-class refreshments, was to give him her full attention. [Jesus] had come to her home to nourish, enlighten, and transform her. Not to receive and unwrap this wonderful gift would be an insult to the giver.
Martha, on the other hand, allowed herself to get distracted by all she thought needed to get done in the name of hospitality. That's what happens a lot in today's society. In this "instant gratification" world, we get distracted by what we think we need to do--catch the daily news, email everyone who has emailed us, blog every day--and lose sight of what's really important.

Are you a Martha or a Mary?

25 August 2008

Giving is Sharing What You Don't Have

There are many people I know who work very hard every day without complaint, pushing themselves as far as they can go to get done what they need to get done. And I admire that. I am often amazed by the things people are willing to do and the sacrifices people are willing to make for the people they love.

Parents who go without so their children will have what they need (and want).

Siblings who open their homes when a brother or sister needs a place to stay until they get back on their feet.

Friends who send what little extra money they have to friends who don't have enough.

There are people who find ways to give even when they barely have enough for themselves. They are the people who can always be counted on to help you move or babysit your kids or pick up your mail while you're on vacation. They do it with smiles, never grudgingly, and don't expect anything in return, even if their schedules are full of work and family obligations with no time to relax.

I do what I can for others, and I try to do it without complaint. I'm not always successful at that second part, but I'm working on it. I see people give when they have almost nothing themselves, and they keep nothing for themselves, so why can't I give when the Lord has blessed me?

What do you do to share your blessings?