#reverb10 Prompt, Day 29: Defining Moment (late)

Describe a defining moment or series of events that have affected your life this year.
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Everything you do affects your life in some way. So I don't think I look back on the year and select a defining moment or series of events to write about. A lot has happened this year, after all. I much prefer to look at the year as a whole and be hopeful that the decisions I've made and the things that have happened will make 2011 a good year.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 19: Healing (late)

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
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I don't think I am (fully) healed. There are things still affecting me in a very real and negative way, and I'm still working on them.

I think some of the things I'm dealing with I'll still be dealing with for a long time, while others I hope to get past in 2011. And some of the things I'm dealing with will depend on what happens in 2011 as to whether or not I can move past them quite yet.

I know that's sort of vague, but the things I can talk about I've already written about this month, and the other things are staying private. Sorry.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 20: Beyond avoidance (late)

What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
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I've been avoiding this prompt.

And in an effort to show that I truly am letting go of "should" in my life (I should do this, I should be that), I'm not going to do this prompt.

Ha ha!

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 27: Ordinary Joy

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
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"Do you want to 'bock-a-bye'?"

A sleepy Bean nodded, rubbed his eyes, and toddled over to the recliner, patting it to show me where I should sit. I climbed into the chair and pulled my son onto my lap. He snuggled down against me, twisting so he could watch TV while we rocked.

I knew it would only take a few minutes for him to drop off to sleep for his afternoon nap, and I was already thinking about the things I needed to do while he was sleeping. Laundry needed to be folded and put away, the lunch dishes needed to be washed, and I needed to send an email to a client.

In the midst of my mental to-do list, Bean twisted back around and pushed against me with his legs to nearly standing. Just as I was about to remind him that we don't stand on chairs, he wrapped both arms tightly around my neck, rested his head on  my shoulder, and gave me a big hug.

"I love you, too, buddy."

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 23: New name (late)

Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
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I don't know that I would change my name, given the opportunity. I've become sort of attached to the one I have.

I can't help but think of writers when I look at this prompt. How long do we writers spend perusing names and their meanings, looking at character personalities and biographies, trying to come up with the perfect name for a character in a story?

For writers, names seem to bring life to words on a page. With a name, a character is no longer an abstract, but a person. Writers no longer refer to this being as "my antagonist" or "my M.C.," but as "Vivi" or "Tristan." A character name changes things, doesn't it?

But naming isn't as easy as searching a baby name book until something strikes your fancy. Names are a complicated beast. There's a contradiction people encounter when discussing the idea of a name. After all, Shakespeare said, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet" (Romeo and Juliet, II.ii.1-2). Names don't make the man or woman, but everything else does. After all, with a different name, wouldn't I be the same person?

And yet, names do hold power. In Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, handmaids are given the names of the men for whom they work. The lead character's name is "Ofglen," or "of Glen." She and the other handmaids have no individual identity, but are known only by the men they serve. Taking their names was one way power was taken from them.

So where do we stand, then? Who are we with different names? With no names?

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 22: Travel (late)

How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
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By land

Bean with Uncle Trev, April 2010

In April, Hubby, Bean, and I drove from central Florida to central Illinois to visit my family for Easter. It was a long drive, but worth it for my extended family to get to meet Bean for the first time, and we got to spend a holiday with my mom and the family there.

I don't get to spend a lot of time with my family simply because of the logistics involved in traveling to see them. (I'm terrified of flying, which leaves driving. That isn't always easy with a little one, as I'm sure many of you know.)


By sea

Bean's first cruise, October 2010

In October, we took Bean on his very first cruise! Hubby's parents surprised us with a three-day family cruise, and the little weekend getaway was just what we needed! Bean had a lot of fun going to the beach for the first time (after getting over his initial fear of the sand), and of course the food was delicious!

We also just got back from Hubby's family's family reunion Christmas cruise, which was a week long. This was a great time, as well, and reminded me of why I enjoy cruising for vacations.

In 2011


I hope to be able to spend more time visiting my family in 2011. Any traveling we do will have to be in the latter half of the year (since Bunny is due the first week of May), but we're hoping to spend Christmas in snowy Illinois next year.

Bean has never seen snow, and it would be wonderful to have a white Christmas (and then come back down to 70-degree weather afterward, of course!). I don't know whether or not that will happen, but it's what I'm hoping for.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 21: Future self (late)

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
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Dear Future (but really present) Coffee-Stained Writer,

As I stand at the edge of 2015, waiting for 2016 to rush up and meet me, I have a few words of advice for you. I urge you to heed them, since anything I recommend to you really affects me, you know.

First, remember that haircut you're thinking of getting when Bunny is born in the spring? Don't. It didn't look that great when you did it in 2008, and it annoyed the crap out of you when you were trying to grow it out because you realized you missed your long hair. As much as you think you want it again, trust me: you don't. It won't look that great, and it'll annoy the crap out of you when you try to grow it out because you'll realize you miss your long hair. Please, please keep your hair the way it is. You like it this way.

Next, don't get too frustrated with how the coffee house's first draft goes in 2011. It's going to get written, and you're going to have to edit it, so relax about it. It doesn't have to be perfect the first time. It won't be perfect the firs time. Just remember why you want to write it and you'll be fine. Save the obsessing for the later drafts. It'll go a lot smoother that way. After all, it started as a NaNo novel and you did everything you could to boost word count. Remember that draft? ::shudder::

I also want to tell you that things will get better. I can't tell you too much because of that whole crazy space-time continuum thing, but things will get better. Hang in there. You'll come out of things a better and stronger person, and then you get to be me, which is pretty cool.

Finally, keep trusting yourself. It works for you. You'll be healthier and happier that way. You won't worry so much. And you'll definitely have a lot more fun. So don't let other stuff get to you too much, and remember that you know what's best for you.

Have a great year in 2011, have fun, and be safe. You have to get to where I am, after all.

Happy scribbling from the future,

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 24: Everything's OK (late)

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
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Hubby and I, as a family, have had some difficult moments in 2010. Of course I won't get into them here, but we've had our share of struggles.*

And yet, everything always has a strange way of falling into place so that everything is okay in the end. It's not always easy, and it's not always in the way we expected, but things have a way of working out for us. I'm thankful for that.

There has been one particular instance that stands out to me as proof that everything really will be all right, particularly in 2011.

On December 17th, I received bad news from one of my clients who would no longer be needing my services after December 31st of this year. I won't get into the details for the protection of this client, but I will say that this came as quite a shock to me, and I'm still dealing with how I feel about how it all played out.†

Despite this, we're looking at 2011 with as much optimism as we can. I have received some good news from a couple of other clients, and am hoping to hear more after New Year's.

Once again, facing what could be a devastating struggle, things seem to be working out for us. It's not working out the way I would have expected, but everything's going to be okay. Again.

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

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*We've had our share of successes and joys, too, though!
†Anyone who wants details can email me, and I may be able to give you a bit more insight.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 25: Photo (late)

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
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Photo by Hubby at our (former) Orlando home, May 2010

Top: Treehugger Organic Cotton Women's Tee

Skirt: Veggie Patch Skirt (similar here)

Shoes: Lynette Scarf Flip Flops in Khaki

Accessories: clay bead wrap bracelet

and recycled magazine bead necklace

from Soul Flower (no longer available)

This picture reveals who I want to be. Some of the changes I'm making in my life in 2011 include living a more natural lifestyle, and my clothing choices is one way I'm doing that. I feel better wearing more natural fabrics, and I feel better knowing my clothing choices have less of a negative impact on my world.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 18: Try (late)

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it?
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Image: Sujin Jetkasettakorn
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I want to be more conscious about how I take care of myself and my family, as well as how I take care of the earth. I try to be conscious about what I put into my body (food, medicines), and I try to be conscious about being somewhat "green," but I'm not as eco-friendly as I'd like to be.

Next year, I want to make a conscious effort to get to a more natural lifestyle, and not just by buying organic foods.

Food


I am going to try and incorporate a more earth-friendly menu for my family. We're going to start eating less processed foods, and organic when we can. We're going to eat seasonally and, when possible, locally.

I'm blessed to be in an area that has lots of farmers' markets, and I want to take advantage of them.

In addition, I'm trying to gravitate toward a vegetarian lifestyle. I don't eat much meat to begin with, so it wouldn't be a big shock to my system to move to a meat-free diet. But I do feel it's a positive step for me. My sister-in-law is an environmentalist (she'd make a great activist/advocate), and has pointed me in the right direction for a lot of information I've been seeking. As a result, I just don't like eating meat.

Of course, I can't force that lifestyle on my whole family, but Hubby has agreed to one meatless day a week (to start), which I'll take as a positive step.

Household Products


I also want to start using natural cleaning products at home. When I think about all the chemicals I expose myself and my family to every day by keeping our home clean, it worries me (especially being pregnant!). By using natural cleaning products, we'll all be exposed to far less chemicals, and be healthier.

Clothing


Believe it or not, there are chemicals in clothing, too! In dyes and in the materials that make synthetic fabrics. So as I start acquiring my post-pregnancy wardrobe (because, let's face it, I need new clothes), I'm going to buy natural fabrics dyed with natural dyes. (For example, I already have a skirt that uses vegetable dyes on all-natural fabric.)

Environment


I also plan to try and spend more time in nature. I always feel better when I take time to breath fresh air, to feel the sunshine, and to get to see the trees and animals in my area. So 2011 will be a year of much more time outdoors.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm a bit of a hippie. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 15: 5 Minutes (late)

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
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• I want to remember how it felt to have a fresh year to start with, knowing it would be a good year.
• I want to remember taking Bean to our family in Illinois for the first time, meeting my dad's family, spending Easter with my mom and family.
• I want to remember my first Mother's Day.
• I want to remember getting my full-time freelancing gig, and the excited anticipation with which I faced my first project.
• I want to remember celebrating three wonderful years with my husband.
• I want to remember Bean's first Independence Day, and how well he did with the fireworks.
• I want to remember my son's first birthday party. 
• I want to remember my son's baptism. 
• I want to remember finding out that I was pregnant with our second child, knowing our family would grow in love, and that Bean would be a big brother.
• I want to remember Bean's first cruise.
• I want to remember watching Bean play in sand at the beach for the first time, and after being afraid of it, digging into it and crying when it was time to go back to the cruise ship.
• I want to remember facing NaNoWriMo, and learning more about my writing than I expected in the process.
• I want to remember finding out the gender of our second child.
• I want to remember the feeling of facing 2011 with both wonderful blessings and struggles, knowing that it, too, will be a good year.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 17: Lesson learned (late)

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
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I learned to trust myself this year.

I've spent much of my time trying to make other people happy, and worrying about how what I decide will affect others. As a result, I often make decisions that probably aren't the best for me. By learning to trust myself, I'm worrying less about what others think and doing what I know is best for me.

I know it's a process, and I may stumble, but it's something I'm working on little by little.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 16: Friendship (late)

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
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I think this is the kind of answer that writers will understand, but others may not. And that's okay since most of my readers are, in fact, writers.

I have had a few friends who have changed me (and my perspective) this year, but not in the way you'd think.

Of course friends have been important to me this year. My best friend, Kell, has been invaluable in listening to me complain, offering writerly and personal support, and just generally being there for me. My heart sister, Dana, is always there to listen, remind me of why I'm a writer, and keep me laughing. I had some rough moments in 2010, and my friends--especially Kell and Dana--have been the people who have gotten me through those spots.

But as for change, the friends who have had the biggest impact on me....aren't real.

I've done a lot of thinking and reworking of the characters in the coffee house book this year, and in the process have learned a lot about them, the coffee house story, and myself.

It's funny how characters will do that to you. As you're thinking about them, creating every facet of their personalities, you end up thinking about yourself, as well. They become sort of real to you, and as you think about the situations in their lives, their struggles and successes, whether or not they've made the right decisions, you also start to think about who you are in comparison. (Well, I do, at least.) And, believe it or not, the characters I'm creating are helping me make positive changes in my own life, and work to become the woman I want to be.

Funny how much writing can affect your life, isn't it?

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 14: Appreciate

What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
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As cheesy as it may sound, the thing I've come to appreciate most in the past year has been the fact that I'm a full-time writer (from home).

I knew in college I wanted to be a writer. I decided to take a bit of a risk and earn a degree in English (creative writing) without education or journalism or anything like that. My degree is just in creative writing. Even then, I stepped out on the edge of practical in order to follow a passion.

After graduation, I took a job at my alma mater that involved writing. After that I took a job as a high school English teacher (for me: yech!). After that, I became a full-time freelance writer.

Since then my writing has developed, my career has developed, and I have full-time work from home as a freelance writer. And I couldn't be happier.

Not only do I get to stay home and play with my son all day long, but I get to have my dream job while I do it. Realistically, how many English graduates do you know that actually get to be full-time writers? I even have time to write fiction once in a while! How cool is that?

Of course, I've had my ups and downs, and there have been lean months. But every month, it's getting better. I'm building my client list, and was even told recently that in addition to more work from a previous client, I'll be getting referrals for additional work from a previous client. (Yay for a busy 2011!) I feel like I'm really making my way as a freelance writer, and all the work I put in a few years ago is paying off.

For those who are struggling, for those who are contemplating it, for those who think it's too good to be true.... it can be done. It's not easy, and it can take a long time, but it can be done!

And if you keep working, you'll put yourself in a position to be able to say you really do love what you do!

I'm livin' the dream, baby!

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 13: Action

When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?
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This is the kind of prompt I've been waiting for. One of the things that drew me to #reverb10 was thinking about next year in terms of my fiction-writing. What do I want to put out there in 2011? How do I want to change the way things are to head the direction I want them to go?

Well, here we go!

For the coffee house, I'm working on the character biographies right now. It's technically under the category of background information for the coffee house, but since I can't write the coffee house book without them, it's also action. But for the sake of this post, let's look ahead a little bit.

Once the character biographies are finished, it'll be time to write the first draft of the coffee house book. My plan is to start writing it in January 2011, and be done with it before Bunny is born. (Since Bunny is due May 4th, I'd like to have the first draft written by April 10th, just in case.) Then I'll take May off from writing as maternity leave, and when I get back to fiction-writing in June or July, I'll be ready to start editing.

I feel good knowing I'm on my way to having this book written (finally), and that I'm taking action to make things happen.

It's all well and good to say I'm writing the coffee house book, but until I actually do it, it's not really true, is it?

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 12: Body Integration

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
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As has happened with many other prompts, this is something I've been thinking about lately. I've been fortunate enough to be able to peruse other participants' posts already, and this post has created a bit of mixed feelings about #reverb10, I think.

There are some who are saying this prompt is a bit too "new-age" for them, and implies that we should all feel something is "wrong" with us. I can see why they say that. And I can also see why others, who do strive for a deeper connection between mind and body, appreciate the prompt.

What follows is my take on it, allowing readers to realize, of course, that this is my personal view and I'm entitled to it, so pppbbbbbbttt!


I do try to have an integration between my mind and body beyond the normal my-mind-controls-my-body connection. But instead of seeing it as an integration or connection, I see it as an awareness.

There is a connection between mind and body in things like yoga, in which you focus your mind on your body, connecting your thoughts and breath to the movements of yoga. There's also a connection between mind and body when you're aware of how you take care of yourself, and what you do to ensure your body (and mind) is at its best.

In my post about things yesterday, I said one of the things I want to get rid of in 2011 is unhealthy habits. This includes junk food and lack of exercise, but also being aware of how my environment affects my body. I'm moving toward using more natural cleaners in my home, and am converting my wardrobe to natural fabrics. After all, if I'm trying to be more mindful of what I put into my body (pesticides in foods, processed foods, etc.), wouldn't it follow that I'm trying to be more mindful of what I put on my body (processed fabrics, chemical dyes, etc.)?

In this process of getting rid of unhealthy habits, I do feel more of an "integration" between mind and body. I feel healthier and better about myself, and I'm already seeing some of the long-term affects of the changes (more energy, less stress, etc.).

And I know it will only get better as I work to be a healthier me.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 11: Things

What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things will change your life?
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I've been thinking a lot about eliminating things in my life lately. Since moving, I've been trying to de-clutter and streamline my life. It will certainly make for a less stressful lifestyle.

Household clutter. This includes things like clothes we don't wear anymore, knick-knacks that were gifts that we don't like, paperwork that has been taking up space in boxes and folders, etc. Since I work from home, clutter around the house is clutter in my work space, and is just one more distraction I don't really need to keep me from writing.

I'm going to start sorting as I clean. When I do laundry, I won't automatically put everything away. If it's worn out, it gets thrown out. Things that have been sitting for a while and haven't been worn are getting donated. Only the items that we wear will be kept. As for knick-knacks...if I don't have them out and am not attached to them, I'll be donating them. If they're broken, I'll be tossing them. It may sound a bit ruthless, but it's what's going to happen.

Television. I'm not necessarily saying I'm going to quit watching TV in 2011, but I feel like I watch too much TV, and that's something I'd like to work on. It's so easy to sit down on the couch and watch something mindless, and that's time I could be using to work on the coffee house book (or funeral book), or doing other things around the house that need to be done. I'm sure I'll still have shows I enjoy watching, but I'm not going to find something to watch just for the sake of watching television anymore.

Negativity. Sometimes I can be a bit negative. I don't like to be, and I try not to be, but it does creep in sometimes. And if others are being negative, it's worse. I let their negativity affect me, and I become negative, as well. I hate it, and it's something I've been working on getting rid of for some time. 2011 is the year I'll do it.

If I catch myself being negative, I'll make an effort to turn my thoughts to positive aspects of whatever's going on. I do this in my journal sometimes. For every negative thought I have, I have to come up with at least one positive one. It really does help, and I think by trying to be more conscious of it, I'll be able to get rid of a lot of negativity in my life.

Of course, there are also negative people in my life. Some of them I've already distanced myself from, which has helped, but others are in my life for life. When these people are negative, I'm going to have to either ignore it, or let them know (politely) that I don't really want to hear that kind of negativity because of the way it affects me. If they can't understand that, then I'll have to spend less time with them.

Procrastination. I can be a terrible procrastinator. Even when I'm excited about something, I can find reasons to not do it or to work on something else first. As a result, I'm not nearly as far in my coffee house book character biographies as I should be in order to start writing in January, and there are lots of boxes in our storage closet that haven't been unpacked.

I'm already trying to work on this by making task lists for myself for each week, and then dividing them into daily lists. By knowing what I have to do, and knowing how much I've gotten done, I'm better able to stay on top of things.

I also like to reward myself. "As soon as you finish this project for work, you can catch up on your blog reading." It gives me incentives to keep working and moving forward, as well as giving me periodic breaks which, for a pregnant woman, are much-needed.


Unhealthy habits. I'm terrible about the foods I eat and not exercising. Lately, I've been using the excuse of pregnancy to allow it, but I know I need to take better care of myself. So I'm working on creating healthier habits for myself and my family. I know that by exercising regularly (after this baby is born, I'm on the C25K bandwagon), eating healthier, and being aware of what's in my environment (chemical cleaners, non-natural fabrics), I'll be healthier, happier, and more productive in my daily life. Hubby thinks I'm turning into a bit of a hippie, but I just want to be healthy.


Letting everyone else decide what's best for me. This is a terrible habit of mine. I talk to people about what's going on in my life, and when they give advice, or tell me what I "should" do, I end up feeling guilty if I do something different, even if I know in my heart it's what's best for me.

That word--should--is a dangerous word when wielded by people who are about you. Of course, they mean well, but as much as you tell them about a situation, only you know what's best. I have to remember that and do what's best for me, no matter what everyone else says I "should" do.

This is a mindset thing, so I'm not exactly sure how to go about changing it, but it's something that will change in 2011.


Grudges. When I say grudges, I don't really mean that when I'm mad at someone I stay mad at them forever. What I really mean is that when something happens, even after it's been resolved, I think about it for a long time afterward. I think about what I could have done differently, what should have happened, etc. This is especially true when someone hurts me, whether they realize it or not.

I need to learn to let go of things. Most of the time, after something happens, the other person forgets about it and moves on. I'm the only one who obsesses about it for a long time afterward. And all it does is cause me to feel anxiety and to be stressed. So I need to stop. When something is over, I have to learn to move on from it, too.


Facebook. I'm not going to delete my Facebook account or stop updating or anything like that. I have family all over, and Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with people I don't get to see very often (or at all). But I also know I spend time on Facebook when I feel like I have nothing else to do (as in, don't want to do what I should be doing), and it's kind of a time-sink. So I'm going to work on updating a few times throughout the day (or even only once a day), and that's it. I have other things to do.


Self-doubt. As I said in the explanation of letting others decide what's best for me, I need to trust that I know what's best for me. I need to work on not doubting my decisions, and trust myself. I need to stick by what I believe is the right course of action.

I don't know how to do this one, though. It's something I've been trying to work on for most of my adult life. (Suggestions are welcome!)


The need for validation. This goes along with self-doubt. When I do make a decision, I often turn to others (usually Hubby) for validation, to feel like it was the right one.

Again, I need to trust myself.


Guilt. Yeah, these last few could probably be consolidated into one thing to eliminate, but I do see them as different things. They have to be worked on in different ways. So with the guilt thing, I need to let go of things once they're done, trust myself, and keep moving forward. Once I make a decision, it's made, after all. I can't go back and change anything, but just move on from where I am as a result of that decision.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 10: Wisdom

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
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The wisest decision I made in 2010 has to do with the coffee house book. I decided that the story needed to be told in first-person point of view.

It was a decision that wasn't easy to make, but once I did, I felt like the whole story came together in a great way. The pieces that weren't quite fitting fell together, and it made more sense to me. Using first-person point of view is going to make the writing process more difficult, but the end result will be much better.

It's funny how that happens sometimes. The best decisions aren't always the easiest, but worth it.

I'm still waiting to see how the whole process plays out for the coffee house book, but I will say I'm definitely more excited about the coffee house book than I ever have been.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 9: Party

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drinks, clothes, shenanigans.
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I'm not a party person, really. I'd much rather have a quiet evening at home with my family than to go out drinking with friends (especially because of the whole pregnancy thing I've got going on right now). So I can't really think of a party that knocked my socks off.

I know, it's kind of a cop-out to say that, but it's true. Other than birthday celebrations for family, I can't think of any party I even went to this year. And really, that's fine with me. Being a bit hermit-y, I don't have much fun at parties, anyway.

#reverb10 Prompt, Day 8: Beautifully Different

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.
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This is going to be a hard one for me, I think. I have this thing where I don't really think I'm beautiful, and that it's easier for me to believe the bad things about myself than the good things, etc. So I definitely see myself as different, but it's the beautiful aspect of it that's a little harder.

But the prompt says that what makes me different is what makes me beautiful, so I'm trying to trust in that for the purposes of this post.

So I present to you my differences (in no particular order):

1. I've had chicken pox twice.
2. I lived in Germany for three years.
3. I broke my arm when I fell off a clothesline pole.
4. I curl my toes under my feet when I sit with my feet on the floor.
5. My body doesn't like dairy products very much.
6. I often avoid Dr. Pepper because it's a little like a drug to me. When I get it, I drink a lot of it.
7. I absolutely can't sleep with socks on.
8. I talk to my characters when I'm working on stories. (Writers will get this, but to everyone else, it'll make me "different.")
9. When I write, I tilt my head to the right.

And, because I'm different, I'm going to resist the urge to give you ten things that make me different. Ten is a nice, round number. You get nine things. Ha!

People are made up of every thing about them. Their personalities, their quirks, their differences. These are the things that make us who we are: individuals.

It's easy to say that these things make me beautiful, but it's much harder to put into practice. Because they are identified as differences. They're things that make me not like other people. And growing up, that's what I wanted was to be like everyone else. I didn't want to be different or weird or whatever else. And it's hard to break that mindset now that I'm being told that different is what makes me beautiful.

I suppose I'll figure it out someday.