Playing school

Now that Puck is in school full days, Tink and I have been spending time during the day working on school-type tasks. Tink and I practice writing letters, identifying letters (and sounds), numbers, colors, shapes.... A lot of what we do is helping prepare her for school next year.

However, when Puck discovered that we were doing that, he decided he didn't want to be left out. So now, some afternoons when Puck gets home, we "play school." Tink and I still do similar tasks, and I have created kindergarten-level tasks for Puck to do (simple math problems, practicing his name, drawing pictures with labeling, etc.). The kids enjoy it very much, and I'm glad for the opportunity to supplement Puck's education.

I don't know how long it will be until Puck and Tink no longer want to "play school" at home with me, but until then, I'll do whatever I can to help them learn and grow in order to be successful academically.

Speaking of which, it's time to work on my "lesson plans" for this week.

Teaching patience

Sleeping Boy (1824)
Nikifor Krylov

We've been working on teaching Puck patience lately. While he can spend hours absorbed in something he finds interesting, he can also be incredibly impatient when he's waiting for something he wants, or when he doesn't know what comes next in our schedule.*

So we're working on it.

I think some of his impatience comes when he gets bored. He wants to know what we're doing because he can't just sit and be.

So we're working on it.

Some of it comes from not getting the answer he wants when he asks a question, so he repeats the question, hoping we'll give in.

So we're working on that, too.

I've been focusing on giving him one thing to do at a time, and only telling him the very next thing we're doing (shortly before we do it).

We've also explained to him what patience is ("waiting nicely"), and that he needs to slow down and take a breath before he speaks or reacts. When he asks the same question again, we tell him we've already answered that question and we're not going to discuss it anymore.

It's helping, little by little.






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*His favorite question lately is "What are we doing now?"

The no-TV life

We still don't have a TV at the house, and though the munchkins do watch shows on my tablet, I've adopted CCB's rule that the kids only have screen time on non-school days.

I don't know what Monty's screen time rules are, but Puck and Tink have adjusted easily to the rules here. They rarely ask to watch anything during the week, and this past weekend, there were times I asked if they wanted to watch a movie or show, and they both said no. They have plenty of toys and activities, and are happy to play instead of sitting in front of the tablet watching TV.

I've had a few people tell me they don't know how I don't have a TV, or that I should get one for family movie nights, at least. But as little as we watch shows, I don't really see the point. I'm happy to use my tablet for the munchkins and when I put on Doctor Who episodes as background noise for working.

Besides, if the munchkins are content to be without TV, I'm certainly not going to risk changing it by bringing a TV into the house.

Do you have a TV? How does it impact your life?

Life in Co-Parenting

I live in Florida. And when it comes to custody and visitation (which is strictly referred to as "timesharing" in the court system), Florida's model is to start at 50/50 and work from there based on circumstances. The parents come up with a parenting agreement that covers issues such as education, religion, expenses, and the timesharing schedule. It is meant to be as equal as possible, allowing both parents to take an active role in the children's lives.

Monty and I are operating on a 50/50 timesharing/parenting model. In our arrangement, the kids spend a week with one parent, then the next week with the other parent. Holidays are on a rotating schedule, and we each get two uninterrupted weeks in the summer. Because we both have the munchkins half the time, we split expenses 50/50, as well.

It sounds weird to someone who isn't familiar with Florida's method, but it's working well for us. I get the kids for a week (including the weekend since we exchange on Sunday evenings), so the kids know where they are every day that week. There's no back and forth throughout the week. In terms of a divorced family, the kids have stability in our arrangement.

It's working well for us.

What's most important to me is that whatever we do works for the kids, and is healthy for them. I know people have their own opinions about divorce and parenting separately and timesharing and what's appropriate for families after a divorce. But each family is different, and each circumstance surrounding the divorce is different. Each family needs to find what works for them and their children, regardless of what others say "should" be done.

I've known families in which the parents can't be in the same room and have to exchange children with a neutral party present. I've known families in which the husband remarried, and the ex-wife is friends with the second wife, and they all have holiday meals together. Two vastly different experiences, but each is what is possible in those families.

I don't know where in that spectrum Monty and I will be as we get settled into this new part of our lives. But as long as it works for the kids, and they're happy and healthy, I'll be fine with it.