When life is good

Sorrow (Woman by the Table, Crying Woman), 1892
Jozsef Rippl-Ronai

I've gone through a lot of changes in the past few years. Between coming out, divorcing Monty, relocating to a new state, and meeting Bo, it's been a bit chaotic in my life for quite some time.

Things are settling now, but with the lack of chaos and mini-crises to focus on, I find myself once again struggling with anxiety and, to some extent, depression.

To many who know me, it's not a secret that I struggled with depression and anxiety in high school and college, and following the births of my children. It was hard, but I was able to get the help I needed to overcome the worst of it, and I now have tools I can use to cope with these feelings when they come up again. (Because it's a lifelong struggle.)

When life is busy and chaotic, my mind doesn't have time to think about depression and anxiety. I'm too busy doing everything that needs to be done to get through each day. It's only when things settle--when life is good--that those feelings and thoughts begin to creep back into my mind.

Now that things are significantly more settled in my life--and are unlikely to drastically change in the next few years--I find myself feeling a bit more anxious. Life is good, so my head has decided to play tricks on me.

Right now the anxiety is minor, and really only in my periphery. But it's there, and I know that if I don't use the tools and support I have to head it off now, it could be much more difficult to work through later.

So now that things are less chaotic, I'll be taking the time I need for myself to take care of myself. I'll be eating better, exercising regularly, and leaning on Bo (and the rest of my support system) to remind me that depression lies.

Life is good.

Preparing for a change

I've been living in my current apartment for almost a year. It's a nice little apartment in a pretty good location. But I always knew it would be temporary. I just needed a place to be until I got settled in Florida and worked a bit more toward my long-term goals.

Originally I planned to be in this apartment for at least two years, but there have been some happy changes in my life, so I'm taking the next 53 days to pack and organize and move.

The move is a good thing. It's progress toward goals and an exciting new chapter in life.

There's a lot to do in the next six weeks or so. I kind of hate packing and moving, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I haven't felt settled in a long time.

This move will be different.

Once we're moved in and unpacked, I'll be able to settle. Not because it will be our forever home, but because of the comfort and security that comes with this move. Our little family will be in a better place, and headed in a better direction.

So I'll put toys and clothes and dishes into boxes, I'll set aside items that won't be needed for a while, and by mid-September, we'll be on to our next adventure.

You might notice some changes....

In the coming weeks, I'll be making some changes here at the blog from a content standpoint. I hope to make the changes slowly and subtly, and I hope you like the new direction. These changes will better reflect who I am, as well as the direction of my writing career.

I'll, of course, still talk about writing, and I plan to talk more about the process of writing the coffee house book (and the collection) as it progresses. However, I'll also be talking more about some of the other aspects of my life that impact my writing career, such as motherhood.

Keep an eye on things, and I sincerely hope you keep reading as I share a little bit more of myself with you.

And happy scribbling!

Closing up shop....

Today is my last official day as a full-time freelance writer. Monday will be my first day at my shiny new job. (Squee!)

It's a strange feeling to know that on Monday I won't be a freelancer anymore. I'll still be freelancing for a little while; I have some projects to finish up before I'm completely done, but those will be on the side, and my primary focus will be on my new position as a Marketing Communications Writer. It's been strange closing out the freelance side of my life. I've been freelancing since 2008, and now I won't be anymore. I have to change my mindset quite a bit. Not only do I not have to allocate part of my time to seeking clients and work, but I'll get my weekends back. I liked having a flexible schedule as a freelance writer, but I'm looking forward to the structure of my new job. I know that when I get home, I can be fully at home and give my full attention to the kids. (And if that isn't enough, I'll have free time to dedicate to the coffee house book!)

I'm not fully sure what to expect yet. I have an idea of my responsibilities, of course. I know what a copy writer in a marketing department does. But this is a new field for me. Starting Monday, I work for a company that creates software for the heavy duty trucking industry. I know a little bit about software and technology, but the trucking industry is new to me.

The good news, though, is that I'm in the marketing department. I can do marketing writing. I've done it before. In fact, my new job description is very similar to the job description I had when I was working at my alma mater. I liked that job quite a lot, and I'm looking forward to flexing some of those writing muscles again.

I still have lots to do before Monday, but I'm ready. It's time to bid farewell to the freelancing adventure and start a new one.

Turning a corner....

HAPPY DANCE!

My career is turning a big corner this month. It's something that's been (sort of) in the works since May, and now it's finally culminated into an amazing opportunity for my career.

While I have not signed my employment contract yet, I have accepted the offer of a full-time marketing writing position with a company in central Illinois. My first day is August 6 (Puck's birthday).

I didn't say too much about the position during the application and interview process. A big part of it is that I didn't want to jinx it. But now that I have the position, I feel like I can say (a little) more.

I found the position accidentally. I was looking online for some freelance work and happened upon this. I was intrigued by the job description, which seemed perfect for my education and experience, so I decided it wouldn't hurt anything to apply.

The more I heard about the position as I went through the interview process, the more excited I got about it. It wasn't at all what I originally thought, but better. I know this may sound cheesy, but this position is what I went to school to do. This is the kind of position I envisioned myself in when I imagined my perfect job. I would be happy retiring from this company in forty years.

There are a lot of benefits to working for this company. It's a full-time salary position with benefits, after my two-week training period I'll only need to be in the office twice a week (usually), and the company is located in a nice community.

I know that no job is perfect. I know there will be difficult days. But I feel so incredibly blessed to be offered this position, and to be able to build a career on my passion for writing. I can't wait for my first day in the office (speaking of which, I'll have my own office--yay!), and to get going with some of these projects that will be on my task list.

This year has been difficult for me so far, and now I finally feel like things have turned a corner. I'm ecstatic about this position. I just can't stop happy-dancing.

New Design

I've been looking for new designs for my blog.  

I liked the plain design I had before, but after Chef Frazzoo has been changing things around on her blog, she inspired me to do the same.  I have this one for now, but if I find something I like a bit better, you'll see another change.

Enjoy!