12 June 2008

Writing Workshop: Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper

Materials needed: a sheet of paper, a pen or pencil, a highlighter, and your imagination
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Step 1: Envision
For the next four minutes I want you to close your eyes and imagine a place. This can be any place you choose it to be. It can be in your room, it can be at the beach, or it could be your favorite quiet place. In your mind's eye I want you to really see your place. What does it look like? Can you see any colors? Can you hear any sounds? Are there scents in the air? And if so, what do they smell like?

Step 2: Free Response
Now for the next four minutes I want you to write without stopping about what you just saw in your mind's eye. Try not to censor yourself. Don't worry about punctuation or spelling. Just keep that pen or pencil moving on your paper. If your mind wonders off of your place, then write what your mind is thinking. For example, if your place is the beach and it reminds you about the last time you ate crab, write that. This is a writing workshop. It is a work in progress. You can't do this wrong!

Step 3: Edit Thyself
After four minutes, stop. Relax your hand. Now take your paper and fold it in half. For the next four minutes I want you to rewrite what you just wrote on the front side of your paper. Take out all of the riff-raff. Take out the sentences or words that don't pertain to your sense of place. Add anything you like but you must remember you have limited space here!

Step 4: Edit Thyself Again
Now you are going to fold your paper in half again. You will only have a very small space to write in now. (Your paper should be in four quadrants at this point if you opened it up to its original size.) You will fill this block with what you have just written in Step 3. You will have to decide what can stay and what needs to be edited out due to your lack of space.

Step 5: Adjectives
Highlight all of your adjectives. As a rule of thumb, for every ten words you write you should have at least two adjectives. Did you find you didn't have many (or any) adjectives? That is usually the case. The more describing words the better!

This is a process that can be repeated to help inspire you to write or to practice improving your imagery.

11 June 2008

Summer Coffee

I love coffee. But when the weather gets warm, I find myself drinking less of it. There's just something about hot coffee in the summer that doesn't work for me.

The great thing about specialty coffee drinks is the variety that exists for summer coffee drinks. For people like me who really love the taste of coffee, iced coffee drinks provide a cold option that quenches that espresso thirst.

Iced Coffee
Some specialty coffee shops are happy to give you regular (or decaf) coffee poured over a cup of ice. Sugar or flavored syrups are often added.

Iced Cappuccino


Like iced coffee, this drink is a cappuccino over ice. After pulling a shot of espresso, milk (sometimes heated, sometimes not) is poured over ice, followed by the espresso. Often the froth present in a cappuccino is omitted in favor of whipped cream. Sugar or flavored syrups are often added.

Iced Latte
This drink is similar to an iced cappuccino, but comes in a larger size (as with the hot version).

Blended Coffee Drinks

Called Frappucinos by Starbucks, these drinks are where iced coffee drinks and smoothies meet. Many blended coffee drinks are created using powdered mixes, flavored syrups, and milk, then topped with whipped cream. The strong flavoring in these drinks provide a great option for people who want to order something at a coffee house, but aren't sure if they like coffee.


Cremosa
This isn't really a coffee drink, but is often found in coffee shops. It's an Italian drink made up of ice, carbonated water, flavored syrups, and cream. The water is poured over ice first, then the syrup, and it's topped with the cream to allow it to swirl together on its own. These drinks are available without the cream, which is a drink called an Italian soda.

Feng Shui Your Desk

Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese practice of space arrangement to achieve a sense of harmony. Feng Shui was developed thousands of years ago in little villages of east Asia, and was used by emperors to ensure their success. By applying Feng Shui to your work space, you will have the chance to experience a positive flow of vital energy. Divide your desk and workspace into the nine different areas of your life, as follows:

  1. The left side of your desk is the Knowledge area--store reference materials here.
  2. Place symbols of Family here also.
  3. The back left corner of your desk is the Money area. Keep this corner clean, dust-free, and uncluttered.
  4. The back center area of your desk, or on the wall directly in front of you, is the Fame area. Display awards, diplomas, and certificates here.
  5. The right corner of your desk is the Romance area. Place symbols of love here.
  6. Closer to you on the right is your Creativity area. Keep your smaller work tools here, along with some "fun" items.
  7. At your immediate front right is the Helpful People and Travel area. Place your rolodex and vacation pictures here.
  8. The center of your desk is the Health area. If you want a healthy career, your work area should be clean and "happy-looking."
  9. Finally, your chair represents your Career area. Keep your chair well-oiled and clean. Polish any chrome and keep it dusted.
Applying Feng Shui to your desk may not guarantee success, but it's a bold step in the right direction!

10 June 2008

Readers! Let me see you!

The Coffee-Stained Writer will be hosting its first photo carnival!

I want to see you (or someone) reading. At a library, coffee house, on the bus, walking in the park, swimming, hanging from a tree, or playing WiiFit. Show me a picture of you (or someone) reading that best represents your personality.

You may begin sending your photos on June 20th to coffeestainedblog (at) gmail (dot) com.

Be sure to include your name, the name of the person or people in the photo (if different), a title/caption if you want, and a short bio. All photos will be posted on the blog.

The deadline to submit a photo is June 30th.

The photos will be posted beginning July 1st.

Shattering (My) Pre-Conceived Notions

In reading the comments generated by my Carnival article when it was posted on En Tequila Es Verdad, I feel the need to write a follow-up article to clarify some of my points, and perhaps give commenters a better idea of my intentions with said article.

Let me begin by making something very clear: I'm a bit of a language snob. I shudder when I see poor, abused apostrophes (particularly on store signs or in movie titles), and roll my eyes at misuses of their, there, and/or they're. I am not claiming to be a perfect linguist by any means, but I do pride myself on having what I consider to be a good grasp of the English language.

That said, I should probably also make you aware of the fact that my article was less an assault on the changing English language constructs and more expressing my frustration at a failing education system. So in this follow-up article, I would like to explain that frustration with American education (or lack thereof) through the lens of English classes, since that seems to be what the administrators at my school do. (More on that later, though.)

At the school from which I recently resigned, I was told many things about how the school curriculum is run. I was warned that Honors classes are "watered down," and that a good portion of my time as a teacher of English would be spent helping my junior students prepare for their science standardized test in the spring. I was also told the curriculum for sophomore English students focused around taking and passing the English writing standardized test. And in the time left, teachers split their time between teaching literature and grammar and taking students to registrations, passing out report cards, and going to assemblies.

I expected the standardized tests. After all, how else can the government decide that a school is doing its job and worthy of receiving any kind of funding except to give every student, regardless of situation, the same test and compare the scores to some national average? I mean, that's the most objective way to evaluate humans, right? Particularly in such objective subject areas as English and social studies?

So teachers, expecting the standardized tests, realize how important the scores are to their jobs, office supplies, and curriculum materials, and not only take the time to explain the test process to their students, but perhaps give them practice tests in preparation, and devote time away from the general curriculum to ensure the students are well prepared to make the school look good, regardless of how the students are actually able to perform.

And as these teachers are spending their time preparing students for the standardized tests, the rest of the curriculum gets sort of lost in the shuffle, and students leave high school able to answer objective questions about reading comprehension, but are unable to tell the difference between their, there, and they're.

Of course, when approached by parents and community members, schools make sure that everyone knows that they do not actually teach to standardized tests, but teach their curriculum, and if it happens to include making sure students are prepared for the tests, well, there you have it.

I expected all this. I did not, however, expect the attitude toward Honors classes I encountered.

I was hired to level classes. That is, I was hired to help offset the overcrowding of some classes. I was fortunate enough (or so I thought at the beginning) to have a full load of Honors classes. And most of the students in my classes were not new to Honors classes. And yet, they were appalled when I told them they'd be expected to read novels outside of our regular reading assignments. In fact, some of the junior students frequently and sullenly informed me that even the AP classes didn't "do so much work." (My response: "Wow. Really? Can you imagine what my AP classes would be like, then?")

These students were encouraged to push themselves academically by enrolling in Honors classes, but once there, they weren't pushed.

I have to be honest with you: this perplexed me. In his piece, "Academia: Grade Inflation," Kaden says:

Now, not too long ago, straight-A students were part of the rare elite, the best-of-the-best valedictorians who seemed to know everything anyone could ever need to. This is because C was actually considered "average". It was the baseline, the starting point. A C was what you used to get when you did an okay job - something that every student should, with only a little effort, be able to achieve. B was above-average. They tried a little bit harder, they studied longer, but a B was a good grade. Bright students were B averages. An A was "exceeding expectations". "A" students went the extra mile. They aced most of the tests, they turned in all the homework, they were early to class every day. It took effort to get an A....

It makes sense to me. When I graduated high school, I was a B student, and I was in the top 20% of my graduating class. I was a good student. And yet, I didn't take Honors classes because I wasn't able to handle the workload on top of my extra-curricular activities. The teachers of those Honors classes expected their students to receive Cs and Bs in the class because the material was more advanced. That was the point of the classes.

At the end of May, one of my students came to me nearly devastated she had a B in my class. She asked me about extra credit. "I have to get an A," she said. Things have changed.

And perhaps it's that change that has been part of why Honors classes aren't what they used to be. With more students taking Honors classes, and higher grades being demanded by parents and students, perhaps teachers are compensating for the gap by meeting the students somewhere in the middle. I myself offered extra credit in my classes for struggling students. The final grades within one class period ranged from 56% to over 100%.

There is a contradiction, however, to the parents who demand more-than-excellence in their students' academic achievement. In his most recent post, Academia: Age of Intelligence, Kaden wrote:

How are we to be expected to value our education, our intelligence, if adults don't take us seriously? Sure, our teachers and principals expect us to learn and to thrive in an academic environment, and our parents certainly demand high performance, but when you are taken out of a strictly educational environment, we're just those damned skateboarders again.

I agree, Kaden. There is certainly a conflict between what is expected of students within the walls of a classroom, and what is expected of those same students once the bell rings in the afternoons.

And this, too, is one of the problems that arises in education. Just as I have students who are unable to separate the style of writing they use in their notes from formal paper style, some of my students were unable to separate what is expected of them inside the classroom from what is expected of them outside the school. As a result, many students decide they simply don't care about their academics. Why should they when, as Kaden points out, adults don't care about whether or not they're intelligent or successful?

Sadly, I don't know what to suggest to make changes in the education system. There are so many things that come to mind, and it seems that even if those things are somehow implemented into a good number of schools across the country, it is the mindset of Americans that really needs to be changed. Unfortunately, that's significantly harder to do unless we take notes from Vonnegut.

Of course, with the way the country is headed with watering down Honors classes, adjusting testing, grading, and classrooms to the lowest denominator and not offering anything higher for other students...perhaps we're not far off.

04 June 2008

First Book of the Summer


I've begun reading The Gathering by Anne Enright, winner of the Man Booker Prize for 2007.

I was given the book by a colleague who "hated it." I can see why she disliked it, but so far I'm enjoying it. It's strange and a little disturbing and beautiful and heartbreaking.

I'll give you a bit more information as I progress through the story, of course.

A Space of One's Own

Part of my preparation for becoming a full time freelance writer this summer has been preparing a writing space for myself. Not only do I need room for all my research, projects, and books, but it helps me feel more professional to have an office space. It keeps me organized and allows me to separate my writing life from my personal life.

So I'm taking stock in the space I have to try and make it as efficient as possible. I don't have the luxury of an entire room to myself right now, so I have to do the best I can in a corner of our living room.

One determination I've made is that I will need to keep as much of my research and filing on the computer as possible. Though I wish I could, I can't have a wall of filing cabinets with scads and scads of hanging files in them, or a wall of bookcases with books and binders stacked as tightly as they can be.

Instead, I'll be relying on bookmarked websites, Microsoft Excel spreadsheets, and Word documents. Yes, there are some reference books I'll need to have nearby, so I'll have to have at least one bookcase, but for the most part, today's society allows me to run a freelance writing company from a very small office space. (Eventually, I know I'll have an office with a door that can close, and I already have an idea of how it will be decorated.)

Writing spaces can be as personal as handwriting. Between decorating, computer models, and inkpen colors, writers have to feel completely comfortable in their spaces in order to be productive. It's one of those quirky things writers can cling to the way actors cling to their pre-show rituals. I know a writer who has to take notes and write rough drafts in green ink before turning to the computer. It's all part of the writer's experience.

So what have you done to make your space comfortable? What does your writing space look like? Email me at nicolepalmby (at) gmail (dot) com with a photo and/or description of your writing space to be posted on the blog!

03 June 2008

I'm it!

The rules:
Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What was I doing ten years ago?
I was finishing up my freshman year of high school at a new school, worried that I'd spend the summer by myself because I didn't know anyone.

What are five (non-work) things on my to-do list for today?
1. Go grocery shopping
2. Clean the apartment
3. Clean out the car
4. Set up the TiVo to record L&O:CI on USA this summer (Yeah, baby!)
5. Update my calendar

Five snacks I enjoy:
1. Cheez-Its
2. Salt & vinegar potato chips
3. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
4. Veggies (carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cucumbers) and dill dip
5. French fries

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Pay off my student loans
2. Buy a house
3. Buy Mom a new car
4. Get my Master's degree
5. Expand my personal library

Places I’ve lived:
1. Rockford, Illinois
2. Biloxi, Mississippi
3. South Dakota
4. Alabama
5. Clarksville, Tennessee
6. Ansbach, Germany
7. Byron, Illinois
8. Jacksonville, Illinois
9. Orlando, Florida

Jobs I’ve had:
1. H.S. office worker
2. Barista
3. English tutor
4. Admissions Counselor
5. Admissions Marketing Director
6. H.S. English teacher
7. And always, always a writer.

Tag! You're it...
Well, Dana, of course, and anyone else who reads this and feels an inclination to share a bit of information.

02 June 2008

From No Blog to Carnival in 10 Easy Steps

I'm sneaking away from the cacophany at my cantina for a bit. Shh. It's our secret.

Just a little overwhelmed by the response over there. You see, the first ever Carnival of the Elitist Bastards set sail on May 31st. PZ Myers of Pharyngula plugged us on his site, and my swarthy crew got the recognition they deserved - and then some. Can I hear a Huzzah! for NP? Her contribution has done precisely what the Carnival was intended to do - make people think.

All of this - the huge response, the compliments, the excitement - has made me very thoughtful indeed. As writers, we know that words have power. We just don't always see their impact.

Writing can change the world.

It can certainly change the writer.

The entire course of my life has been changing since I started En Tequila Es Verdad. A few months ago, I was an isolated scribbler, struggling with a recalcitrant (and alcoholic, I'm certain of it) Muse, doubting every day that I'd ever get words out to enough people to justify the sacrifices I make for them. Today, I have a rabble-rousing blog that's frequented by some truly incredible thinkers, and I'm the captain of the HMS Elitist Bastard, freshly returned from a maiden voyage that succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.

Here's what I've learned on the journey:

1. If you have an alcoholic Muse who's frequently absent, start a blog that doesn't require her.

2. Write what you're passionate about. It may have nothing to do with your magnum opus. All it has to do is get you to write.

3. Read a plethora of blogs that are related to what you're writing. You'd be amazed what you'll learn about blogging just by reading blogs, and reading the comments sections.

4. Comment! When something grabs you, don't keep it to yourself. Say so in the comments! It helps you practice getting short, relevant responses together, which is good practice for writing blog posts. It tells the poor beleagured author of the blog that somebody actually gives a damn about their words. You get to interact with a lot of wonderful people. And some of those people will follow you home to your own blog to continue the conversation, and you'll end up with readers who are far more than just readers - they're your friends.

4a. A caveat: do not use another blogger's comments section to shamelessly advertise your own site. It's bad manners and it puts people off. If you wrote a post that has a different take on the issue discussed in the other blogger's post, you might be able to get away with a link in a comment - but observe the norms of the community you're in. If other bloggers get thumped for linking to themselves, don't do it. And only leave comments if you have something to contribute to the conversation.

5. If you get a lively community going, and many of you are of the same mind, and there's not yet a blog carnival for your interests, don't be afraid to start one.

6. Don't be afraid to reach out to your favorite bloggers and give them the opportunity to join your Carnival. More than a few of the contributors for the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards were bloggers I'd actively approached, because I loved and respected their work and I just knew they'd be an excellent fit. Others I would have approached if they hadn't signed on to the idea immediately. (And then I ran out of time, so not everyone I'd like to see on board got a personal invite, but that's okay - there's always another voyage!)

7. Have your contributors advertise shamelessly on their sites.

8. Put the contributions together in the liveliest fashion you can, make sure it's perfect (DON'T forget any of your contributors in the heat of the moment!), and then go live.

9. And then, if you know of a popular blogger who's a generous soul and who's likely to enjoy what you've put together, and is never averse to giving baby blogs a leg up, by all means don't be afraid to shoot off a little email request saying, "If you like this and you could, would you please give us a mention?" The worst they can do is say no. The best they can do is give you a beautiful plug on their site, and ensure that your amazing contributors get the recognition they deserve for all their hard work.

10. Watch your life change, and possibly see your words change lives.

That, in a very brief nutshell, is the path this writer took to get where she is today. Your path may be very different. Use the guideposts that are of use to you and discard the rest.

And never, ever, give up on your words.

01 June 2008

Readers, Where Are You?

The Coffee-Stained Writer will be hosting its first photo carnival!

I want to see you (or someone) reading. At a library, coffee house, on the bus, walking in the park, swimming, hanging from a tree, or playing WiiFit. Show me a picture of you (or someone) reading that best represents your personality.

You may begin sending your photos on June 20th to coffeestainedblog (at) gmail (dot) com. Be sure to include your name, the name of the person or people in the photo (if different), a title/caption if you want, and a short bio. All photos will be posted on the blog.

The deadline to submit a photo is June 30th. The photos will be posted beginning July 1st.