26 July 2016

In anticipation of next week

I decided to make an appointment with a therapist.

My appointment is next week, and it's with a new therapist. In fact, I haven't been in counseling since just after Puck was born.

Since then, I've been able to manage my anxiety on my own. No medication, no therapy appointments. There have been some really hard times. It was hard to get through the divorce, and it was really hard when I moved from Illinois to Florida after the divorce. I felt very alone for quite some time then.

I was mostly okay for quite a while. I had a good balance between my personal and professional lives. Then I met the Wifey and fell in love and had an amazing source of support from her and her family.

But for a while, my anxiety and depression levels have been slowly creeping up to a new normal. It started out so slowly that I didn't notice. But then I started noticing that when I had an anxiety attack, my anxiety levels stayed higher than I wanted for much longer than I was used to.

And it didn't go away.

So after trying to deal with it on my own, I've decided to go back into therapy. Maybe I should have a while ago. I don't know. But I am now.

I'm nervous about my upcoming appointment. I'm glad they were able to get me in pretty quickly, particularly as a new patient. I was worried I'd have to wait a while, and I would have been much more likely to cancel (and not reschedule).

I know it's the right decision for me. If I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of my family. Since I know I've been struggling with depression and anxiety most of my life, I know that I have to take care of myself in this way sometimes.

Depression and anxiety are liars. And things will get better. They are getting better.

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