29 July 2015

The dangers of Christianity, in 8 easy steps!--step 5: no unnecessary household upgrades

Previous posts in this series:
  1. The first part of so much wrong
  2. Part two of so much wrong
  3. Step 1: rebuke her privately
  4. Step 2: rebuke her publicly
  5. Step 3: bring her before the church
  6. Step 4: stop taking her on dates
Before we jump into this continued escalation of nitwittery, I just want to take a moment to remind you that from step four on, the blog post writer does not see anything wrong with taking these steps even from the outset of the "issue."

In step five, husbands are reminded that their money is their money and their wives can't spend it without permission. This step says (emphasis mine):
Ordinarily, I am all for a husband funding things like new furniture for the house, or new paint for the walls. Wives will come to their husband's [sic] for these and many other household things. What you need to do as a husband is, unless it is a true family need, and not just an upgrade to something -- Do not allow it.
See, because if you remember from the previous step, all that is required of a Good, Christian Husband is that he provide his wife food, shelter and clothing. So when the couch breaks, she's not entitled to a new one. She can just deal with it until she decides that the couch is more important than being able to make her own decisions about her own body.

Once again, this is retaliation, pure and simple.

Husband is butt-hurt because Wife isn't willing to spread her legs whenever he demands, and so he says, "Well, I'll show you!"

Far be it from these types of husbands to actually grow up and handle shit like adults. No, no. We resort to pettiness. That's much more effective.

I remember now why I was so incredibly irritated when I first read this post. It's just escalating the same thing. These husbands aren't willing to see and deal with underlying relationship issues.

Let's set aside, just for a moment, that a woman's body is her own and she can decide whether or not to have sex with it whenever she wants without reason.

If Wife is routinely "denying" the physical part of the relationship, chances are, there's a real reason behind it. It could be something going on with her. If she's stressed, she may not be in the mood. But it's just as likely that it's something going on with the relationship. Many women I know must have some kind of emotional connection before they can have a physical connection. So if there's something going on in the relationship--tension, fighting, her picking up on his bad mood--it's not going to happen.

And if it's occurring regularly, it could very well point to some problem in the relationship. Retaliation doesn't fix that. Open communication, maybe some counseling from a real, trained, not-a-pastor relationship therapist.

So instead of playing these bullshit games, these husbands need to pull up their big kid pants, dry it up,* and actually be an active part of their relationships.




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* "Dry it up" is a phrase I use with the munchkins when they're fussing or throwing temper tantrums for attention or to try and get me to give in.

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