- The first part of so much wrong
- Part two of so much wrong
- Step 1: rebuke her privately
- Step 2: rebuke her publicly
Before a Good, Christian Husband™ can take action against his wife for not having sex with him whenever and wherever he wants, he has to remember that it's his right, and that
A husband ought not to feel guilty for having sex with his wife when she is not in the mood if she yields, even grudgingly.Yes, you read that correctly, and yes, that is a direct quote from the post. So if a husband decides that his wife does not have a "good reason" to say no, then she's obligated to put out. And if she refuses, she's a horrible sinner, and has to be treated as such.
So first, the Good, Christian Husband™ talks* to her privately. If that doesn't work, he talks to her publicly.
And if Bad, Heathen Wifey™ still thinks that her body is her own and she can make her own decisions about it, Good, Christian Husband™ should then take his wife to the church, appealing to the pastor (and his wife, because all pastors are married straight men).
So blog poster says (emphasis mine):
If she will not listen to counselors, or refuses to go to counseling then bring her to your Pastor and his wife. If she will not listen even to them then she has chosen to act like an unbeliever, and now she will be treated as such.So clearly, if your wife is not willing to have sex with you after you scold her privately, scold her in front of others, and declare her sinfulness to the leader of the church, she must be on a path to eternal damnation. That's the only option, right?
And, by god, if she's going to be a bad sinner, then I'm going to treat her like one! *sticks out tongue*
The rest of this step focuses on the wife as an unbeliever, and reminds Good, Christian Husband™ that if she is acting like an unbeliever by not consenting to sex, then she should be treated as one. And that means that Good, Christian Husband™ is not bound to marriage vows. He can get rid of her and is free to marry another woman with no guilt whatsoever.
According to this blog post, if a wife will not have sex with her husband, he can and should leave her to find another wife.
Because apparently, that's the most important aspect of the relationship.
Here's the thing.
I know that, for lots of people, sex is important. A physical relationship is a major component of an emotional relationship. But this blog post is implying that the relationship is not viable without a physical component. That if there is no physical intimacy, there can be no relationship.
And do you really believe that if it were reversed, a wife would be free to leave her husband and marry another? Really?
But as if all of this isn't enough, the poster takes this opportunity to imply that the steps following public rebuking are going to be worse. The post says (emphasis mine):
This is where we begin the next phase of confronting your wife's sexual refusal. I don't think it would be wrong to perhaps be doing some of these steps at the same time you are doing the first 3 steps provided that you are married to a professed believing wife.I'm not going to go into the wrongness of what I've emphasized in this quote quite yet. It will come later (and frequently) over the course of the next five steps. But I will be reminding you of the fact that this blog poster suggests that Good, Christian Husband™ could undertake some of the next steps even as early as his first "rebuking" in private. Because that's significant. And it will simply serve to highlight the awfulness of this whole damn post.
Stay tuned. There's much more to come.
*And by "talk," I mean "rebuke," which is really much more like parental scolding than discussing marital issues with an equal.