(if you know, please tell me so I can give credit where it's due)
Let's say your wife is refusing sex with you. You've prayed about it, and you've determined there's no "good reason" for her to be telling you no, and even though you've talked to her about it privately, reminding her that she is obligated under the constructs of marriage to do it when you want, she still says no.
What is a good, Christian husband to do?
Don't worry, Good, Christian Husband. There is hope! And it comes in the form of public shaming.
Here is step two in our blog post of awesomeness:
If she is still defiant after rebuking her privately take her to a Christian marriage counselor, or maybe even a sex therapist if she is willing to go. This is if she is even willing to go.I've already given my thoughts about the use of that word "rebuke," so we'll let that be this time. But there is still an aspect of rebuking that I want to address in this post.
Defiance is defined by Merriam-Webster's as "a refusal to obey something or someone." Remember that in a lot of conservative brands of Christianity, wives are required to obey their husbands as part of their marriage vows. They must promise, before god, family, and friends, that they will do what their husbands say to do.
And that includes sex.
So if a wife is not in the mood (which does not constitute a justified physical or mental reason, according to the blog post), she is disobeying her husband. And that's just not allowed.
So if a husband has tried to talk to his wife reasonably about the fact that she won't have sex with him, and she still won't have sex with him, the next step is to take the discussion out of the privacy of the bedroom and into public.
I will give the blogger a modicum of credit here. The advice given is for the husband to go with the wife to see a counselor (though, a Christian counselor is recommended, so we can assume what the advice would actually be) or a sex therapist.
But the wording kills me. First, the blogger says the husband should "take her to" one of these experts. Not that they should go together. Not that he should suggest it. Just that he should take her. But I suppose that's standard for these types of relationships.
Of course, the biggest problem I have with this step is the correlation between the "title" of the step and the actual instructions given. Step two is to "Rebuke her before witnesses." That means the goal of this step is to do the same thing that was done in step one, except where other people can see it.
So all of the stuff I wrote about "rebuke" in step one applies to this step, except we have the added bonus that other people are there, too. Is this to shame her into compliance? Or does this blogger really believe that if she is rebuked in front of others that they will agree with him and say, "Hey, yeah, Wife. You should have sex. You're not being a good wife."
Then again, the counselors and therapists that would likely be approved by this blogger are those that probably would say that.
But if talking to her in private didn't work, by all means, try to shame her into obedience. Nature knows we don't have enough shaming going on in our culture today.
But don't worry. The next step takes rebuking to a whole new level.
You're going to love it.