15 June 2015

The dangers of Christianity, in 8 easy steps!: part two of so much wrong

Last week I addressed the first part of an introduction to a blog post that made me roll my eyes with nearly every sentence. I've steeled myself for the second part of the introduction and present it here. And there are some good bits.

I would like to note that I've skipped a portion of the introduction, which addresses a specific Bible verse. This part of the introduction attempts to refute the use of I Corinthians 7:6 to say that spouses are not obligated to have sex whenever and wherever the mood strikes one of them. I'm choosing to leave this out of my discussion because I think that using the Bible to prove or disprove the Bible is ridiculous. I don't feel the need to address this particular point by the writer of the post.

So it is established in the first part of the introduction that sexual denial is sin, unless the wife has a "legitimate" physical or mental reason for denial. Let's ignore the fact that lack of desire is a legitimate reason under the law and move forward for the purposes of discussion.

The writer of this post not only makes it clear to husbands that sexual denial is a sin, but calls out those who would say otherwise. The post says* (emphasis mine):
In the same way men are often counseled by Christian counselors, Pastors and marriage books to simply tolerate their wives sexual denial - which is just as immoral as if she were to commit adultery. They told to talk to their wives and pray for their wives - which is good advice. But then if their wife does not repent they are told they must simply learn to cope with their wife's sexual immorality and there is nothing else they can or should do. 
I am here to tell you there is something more you can and should do. You need to call out your wife's sin for exactly what it is - sexual immorality.
Right. So first, we have a notion that saying no to sex (except for legitimate reasons, which still haven't been fully explained) is on par with cheating in the Christian marriage paradigm. That's right, folks. Saying "Sorry, honey. Not tonight. I'm really not in the mood" is the same as picking up a random person in a bar for a one-night stand or having an affair.

And then, husbands are told by "counselors" (in quotations because they're listed as Christian counselor and pastors and likely Christian-based marriage books) that if they talk to their wives and pray that they'll want to have sex more and their wives still don't want to have sex, they should deal with it.

The best piece of advice in the whole post is set up as a bad thing, and as going against the teachings of Christianity. Because in so, so many Christian patriarchal frameworks, all that matters is that the patriarch gets what he wants. And if he wants sex, then by Bible, he'll get it, or you'll go to hell for it.

So if your wife dares to deny you your god-given right, it is your responsibility as a good Christian husband to make her see the error of her ways through, as the blog post says, "tough love."

You don't want to have sex because you had a bad day? Sinner!

Because above all, she should submit to her husband. Even though the Bible tries to make men and women equal in the physical relationship according to the passage brought up in the post (I Corinthians 7:1-7), men are not responsible for the emotional needs of their wives if they want sex. Because a wife should sacrifice her needs and desires for her husband, but clearly he is not required or even encouraged to do the same thing if she has an emotional need that isn't sex.

And it is in this foundation that the blog post presents its steps to correct wives' awful, sinful behavior of not giving it up just because their husbands say "I'm horny."

And let's remember, kids, that husbands sacrifice themselves for their wives to make them holy, they are even more obligated to sex, since god says sex in a marriage is holy. Therefore, wives should feel guilty if they don't have sex because look at all their husbands do for them. For their holy souls. And you can't have a holy soul unless it's had holy sex.

I want to end this post with a particular golden nugget. The post says (emphasis mine):
As I said in previous posts - God wants sex in your marriage, your desire for sex in your marriage is not a sin, but rather it is a gift from God. My Pastor often says God put a desire in men and a command toward men that they be "intoxicated" or "ravished" by their wife's body. (See note ** below.) 
Your desire for your wife is not the sin, but instead it is your wife's sinful sexual refusal that must be confronted.
Remember: men are not sinning by wanting sex even when their wives are not in the mood or need something from their supposed partners other than physical contact. It's those women who are wrong and sinning and need to be "corrected."

And so, in the next post, we dive into step one: Rebuke her privately.

I'm having fun already.

*This quote is direct, errors included. I can only deduce that the writer was so passionate about sexual denial as sin that proofreading became unimportant.

**Between these two paragraphs, the post quotes (the King James Version, of course) of Proverbs 5:19, which basically says women should be loving and pleasure-giving, and that they should "satisfy" their husbands at all times. I could write an entire post about why this verse doesn't mean what the post is implying it means, but there's only so much time in a day.

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